Author Topic: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.  (Read 2166 times)

UKMaxfac

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After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« on: July 17, 2017, 11:24:14 PM »
The idea of getting bimax terrifies me. If that makes me a coward then so be it. I really do NOT want to get it, but must do for my own self esteem. After reading all the info here and people discussing long term ramifications it makes me want to give up and not pursue surgery more than ever before.

Anyone else have this fear?

PloskoPlus

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2017, 11:58:28 PM »
There is a reason why most max facs don't like to do jaw surgery unless there's a clear functional benefit, so that if you look off or have terrible paraesthesia, they can stay, "hey, at least [ ] you have a good bite now! [ ] Your sleep apnea is better/cured!" (tick whichever is applicable). The last thing they want to do is have you come out functionally worse. This way they can sleep at night.

swsee

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2017, 02:21:24 AM »
The problem with this forum is 1) That everyone here seems to have rather unrealistic expectations of coming out looking like a model and 2) The only people who really hang around are the ones who had issues, so it's like a big circle jerk talking about how awful jaw surgery is, and all the problems it caused them.

I think a large percentage of people have no, or very minor issues after surgery, but don't spend their days on an internet forum complaining about them. They just go on with their lives. I try to pop in now and then to be a voice of reason, but am often drowned out by the negativity.

I have some minor numbness in my chin, but it isn't really a big deal. I had a large movement, and as a result have some notching along my jawline. Sucks, but no one notices unless I point it out and highlight it for them. My face looks a little skinnier now too, which I don't really like, but overall look fine. There are ups and downs with any surgery, but if you do your research and find a surgeon who you are confident in their skills and treatment plan, chances are very good it will turn out fine. Perfect? Probably not, but that's life. I wish I had been born with a perfect jaw, and looked like a male model, but that didn't happen. I wish my Ortho as a teen would  have addressed the skeletal issue rather than camoflauging it, but alas I can't turn back time. I had a pathetic jaw, not to mention I'm balding. So I got jaw surgery and am planning a hair transplant. Both are less than ideal solutions, but the reality is that these are the options at this point in time. We all want that perfect solution with no risk, but it doesn't exist now, and likely never will in our lifetime.

I think you might be well served to take a little break from this forum and not be constantly inundated with horror stories about what could go wrong. At this point I think you've probably done sufficient research to guide your decision. Find a good surgeon, have the surgery, and move on. The more time you spend looking for the perfect solution (which simply doesn't exist) is time lost from just putting all of this behind you.

I'm sure my post will elicit responses about how I got "lucky" or that my side effects shouldn't be considered acceptable. Maybe I was lucky, but I just want to point out that this surgery isn't all doom and gloom. Don't get caught in a circle of paralysis by analysis, spending years here looking for that magical surgeon who can somehow cut your bone in some special way to guarantee no nerve damage and mold you into a model. It won't happen and you'll just be further setting yourself up for disappointment.

Good luck with everything
« Last Edit: July 18, 2017, 03:29:51 AM by swsee »

UKMaxfac

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2017, 05:00:02 AM »
Thank you swswee.

I have 0 expectations of looking like a model - it was never on the cards for me to be one. My concerns are:
1. I look bizarre / unnatural post-OP
2. I have long term functional problems resulting from the surgery.

Milli_Meters

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2017, 05:54:48 AM »
Good stuff swsee



OP .Check out youtube jaw surgery vlogs. They are generally overwhelmingly positive. 

UKMaxfac

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2017, 08:40:38 AM »
Good stuff swsee



OP .Check out youtube jaw surgery vlogs. They are generally overwhelmingly positive.

Yeah I have done. I really wish I could have found someone who had it for similar reasons to me (short face), but cant find any

Milli_Meters

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2017, 09:27:19 AM »
Yeah I have done. I really wish I could have found someone who had it for similar reasons to me (short face), but cant find any
You should be fine with a decent surgeon and decent plan. It will not be a bed of roses but ya lol at going at it like its f**kin Vietnam.
Its a big deal but from your posts you seem somewhat over fussed. I also will need a substantive downgraft albeit I have some time , so if something relevant comes up I'll Pm you.

GJ

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2017, 11:27:32 AM »
OP .Check out youtube jaw surgery vlogs. They are generally overwhelmingly positive.

Is someone who comes out horrible going to make a vlog showing it? Very unlikely. They're humiliated and depressed.

Being the admin, I hear stories in private, and I know so many people who won't even share their negative experiences in writing, never mind a vlog. It's much nicer to share positive experiences (and basically brag how good you look, you know?).

BUT, I agree, there are many positive cases. Really you just need to weight the risks. If you have pain, a bad bite, skeletal deformity, etc and you find a surgeon who is a great match, the risk might be worth it. I'd hope the forum is realistic: you might look better, might look worse...might have complications, might have none. If we fail with that message then we fail as a forum. IMO many of the other sites and forums are the ones who are unrealistic, basically becoming echo chambers of cheerleaders for surgery, and if someone shares a bad experience they call them the anomaly or a negative Nancy and they get run off. That's not a realistic picture of this surgery or any surgery. Many people here share positive experiences as well. They used to do so more in the early days, so I think it's the people obsessed with aesthetics ruining that because people don't want to have their good results micro criticized. Since this forum has the highest user knowledge, it attracts the most people obsessed with aesthetics, and thus the micro-view of things wrong with a result and all the negativity that brings.
Millimeters are miles on the face.

LyraM45

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2017, 12:12:42 PM »
Hi there,

I have a unique view of this now as I've been on both sides of a surgery that went VERY badly, and then a revision surgery that went beautifully and better than anybody had ever told me it was going to possibly be even with the best surgeon in the world doing the work.

First off, jaw surgery should scare you. This isn't a simple procedure like getting a skin tag cut off in your dermatologists office. This major surgery, and a very invasive procedure that, even when it all goes right, can have some lasting consequences and has inherent risk no matter how good the surgeon/hospital/etc are. So having fear is not only natural, but it's healthy. I tell patients to be as informed as possible. Understand the risks, but don't let it consume you. It's a fine line of being informed yet not letting things scare you off. It's a tough balance.

You're going to see a LOT more negatives online than positives. Like yelp, people rush to write a review when it goes badly but when things go right, people just recover and go on about their business and you don't hear from them again. This is why I like my website-- it was started from day 1 with full intentions of it being a happy story. Unfortunately it didn't go that way, so it's an unbiased account of how things played out and now it's a resource for people who find themselves in a botched surgery situation and now require a tough revision to fix it. So, keep this in mind that what you're reading out there may be skewed/biased in this sense.

I can write a book on how you should approach all of this, but I created my website to be a resource for people in that sense. Give a read of my FAQ and how to go about weighing your risk vs. reward and making an informed and best decision for you. Feel free to message me with any questions: www.confessionsofametalmouth.com

Milli_Meters

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2017, 12:16:08 PM »
Is someone who comes out horrible going to make a vlog showing it? Very unlikely. They're humiliated and depressed.



yes I wanted to add that qualifier in my message . BUT many yotube jaw surgery vloggers do it chronologically ie before surgery then night before and then after , 6 months post op etc. I have seen majority of the cases meet a happy ending. Idk if this is a youtube thing. Occasionally (like 10%) of the time i would see negative outcome (perceived or real) and sometimes people just dont follow thru (again like 10 %) . Ofc idk how it is now but i did check youtube vlogs obsessively for 2 years and that was my experience.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2017, 04:37:16 PM by Milli_Meters »

JimmyTheGent

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Re: After reading these forums for so long - I'm terrified.
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2017, 01:53:36 PM »
I am terrified yes!  I've also noticed a lot of negative comments under various jaw surgery reviews on RealSelf.  There are a lot of unhappy people leaving comments about functional issues after surgery not even aesthetic complaints.  Yes there are lots of people who had positive results and are happy they had jaw surgery but there are also a lot of people with pain, numbness, paresthesia, locking jaws, canted jaws, & aching TMJ's, who wish they never had surgery.  So that makes me even more terrified.

The more I learn about the gamble that is jaw surgery the more afraid I become!!!   :-(