jawsurgeryforums.com
General Category => Emotional Support => Topic started by: triot on August 15, 2015, 08:10:18 AM
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I really don't know what to do anymore. Everyday there's another issue that I find out I need to fix. I always knew that I'm unattractive but I really got depressed 3 years ago, since then there isn't a day that I don't research on my issue, find stuff that I need to do. I turned 21 already five months ago and I don't want to live the rest days of my youth as an ugly being and yet nothing happened. I'm still ugly and have not made any experiences in life because I need to save up money and I wouldn't do it anyway because of my social anxiety. Time is running out and I still don't have enough money to do everything I want. I'm seeing a psychologist, she can't help me. I was in a psychiatric hospital, nobody could help me.
I just, ugh, I just wish I was dead already so I don't have to deal with my f**king life anymore. :'(
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A lot of us feel the same way. Is there any way you could loan money in the event that you find a surgeon and surgery plan that you feel comfortable with?
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What is it exactly that you find "ugly"?
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man i have days where i feel the same way. Its like why do you have to worry about surgery in your early 20's when all of your friends are cruising through life. My friends have zero idea how blessed they are that their faces grew "normally".
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I hear ya Triot.
I just had all the surgery I ever never wanted to have because of similar issues and feelings you are experiencing.
I got to a point where I forgot about it (although it crept up here and there because that what it does) and I focused on education, work and experiencing life - sky diving, reading the classics, strip joints, fast cars, etc.
It does suck and like Terry said, some people just don't realize how lucky being normal is....
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the bad news is that surgery highly likely won't make you attractive and you'll probably fall just deeper into depression. When doing surgery stuff for aesthetic reasons only, a visit at psychologist should be a must to evaluate your mental state and to figure out the (secret) agenda about why do you want to do this. Many guys here appear to have either BDD or some other form of mental disorder and of top of that don't have realistic expectation about what jaw surgery can do. A passed test at psychologist should be a ticket to maxfac.
If you'd read my post, you clearly would see that I'm seeing a psychologist and that I even was in a psychiatric hospital. No, I don't have high expectations, hence why I'm depressed because I know that I'll end up just as ugly. I know your stance on this topic already and you're not helpful at all. bye.
What is it exactly that you find "ugly"?
Entire body. But what kills me the most is that my face slacks, I look like I'm 40. All I want is my face not to slack anymore. I wouldn't be doing this for anything else.
I guess it sucks that most aren't born to be "beautiful" but, luckily we have surgery to fix some or most of the issues. It is annoying that we have to make such modifications and it eats away at our brains and hearts while others simply worry about what they want for breakfast before they sleep at night.
Anyhow, don't be so hard on yourself. You'll have your good days, bad days and it's simple really; you either do something about it, or you don't.
No, most aren't born beautiful, but most aren't born ugly either. I can't do anything, because I'm not even getting appointments with any surgeons because they all want that I have an ortho first but there's no ortho that sees any problem with my bite.
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Where are you located? That seems odd. I have a good bite too but, it's never stopped any doc from giving me a consult. And why would it- I'm paying for it.
Germany.
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Having to see an orthodontist first is completely backwards IMO. Have you tried contacting a surgeon like Zarrinbal directly? I've never heard anything about him requiring a referral from an orthodontist.
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the bad news is that surgery highly likely won't make you attractive and you'll probably fall just deeper into depression. When doing surgery stuff for aesthetic reasons only, a visit at psychologist should be a must to evaluate your mental state and to figure out the (secret) agenda about why do you want to do this. Many guys here appear to have either BDD or some other form of mental disorder and of top of that don't have realistic expectation about what jaw surgery can do. A passed test at psychologist should be a ticket to maxfac.
I strongly disagree with you there. People with recessed/weak lower jaws and/or chins can be much improved with jaw surgery. If your problem is (only) a weak, recessed or underdeveloped midface, then yes, it's going to be very hard to fix. Basically, if you have a good/decent 'upper half' (including eye and brow area), then jaw surgery can be your ticket to good looks.
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I have a good bite too but, it's never stopped any doc from giving me a consult. And why would it- I'm paying for it.
The situation is a bit different in countries with socialized healthcare since the specialists there are usually overburdened with patients. That's why pretty much all specialists in countries such as my own require a referral from a doctor. Germany has a mix of public and private healthcare though so getting an appointment with a surgeon like Zarrinbal who works in a private hospital shouldn't be a problem.
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blabla
What do you even want in here? Why do you even write the same s**t in every thread?! If I qualify or don't qualify is none of your business and it's also not your duty/right to tell anybody if they should have surgery and if they should have access to a maxfac surgeon. Mind your own s**t and now piss off, you're annyoing.
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You say time is running out and it is not.
I disagree because you can't turn back time. If the way he feels about his face is actively preventing him from doing things in his life that he wants to do then he should do something about is as soon as possible. I was the in the situation he was in and now I feel like time has actually ran out for me. 21 is a perfect age to do something about jaw problems though so it's definitely not too late. He also has access to way better information now thanks to this forum than I did back then so hopefully he'll be able to make better decisions than I did.
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Even though he put it kind of bluntly, I have to agree with brand0n that some posters here are definitely showing symptoms of BDD.
Not looking like your average model is not the same as looking ugly or deformed.
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BrandOn, I don't want to attack you or be rude. I am asking this is a soft tone of voice, "what qualifies you to make such a bold statement?"
Projection.
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Triot,
I vaguely remember how you look. But the only thing that stood out was your narrow lower third. Chin wing and you're done.
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glad to see brandon's gone, he was a dick.
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One of the problems with this stuff is many people with skeletal discrepancies don't have a lot of support in the goal of bringing the skeletal discrepancy into the normal range. Friends and family don't take it seriously. It's easy to get discouraged.
Very good point. This is so true. Friends and family don't really see us objectively. I have mandibular asymmetry (class 1 on one side, class 3 on the other). No one else in my family has this issue and when I originally mentioned surgery, my family members said they never noticed the asymmetry, even my mom. I got the whole "I like you just the way you are" line from family and friends.
It's weird how orthos and surgeon's can see these things clear as day while our loved ones can't. Lack of support can be discouraging but people with skeletal issues need to stay strong and do what is right for them.
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bro, i tell you story ..I was not enough attractive for some average looking woman, but recently in the train one very beautiful lady was staring at me ..and I fallen in love :P normally I would talk with her, to introduce myself, but i was in terrible mood.. too stressed
She probably lives about 3kms from me in that area, and I like running, so perhaps I will meet her again
but i must be at normal state...my stress now is 10/10
i wanted to tell you that if you think you are ugly then you will be ugly....look at you from different angle..
you are what you think about yourself
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Most orthos and surgeons are dumb. Your still young don't rush into anything.
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Most orthos and surgeons are dumb. Your still young don't rush into anything.
Most orthos and surgeons are dumb?
What..