jawsurgeryforums.com
General Category => Emotional Support => Topic started by: Dontknowwhattodo on August 13, 2014, 11:05:16 AM
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is there anybody else here, anybody, that feels that there is something wrong with their face, or any other part of the body, but when they ask other people, they cant notice and just say "its not as big as you think it is"? Or is anybody here who have been diagnosed with BDD by a psychiatrist?
Where you convinced that you have BDD? That the problem you had with your face was all in your brain? or where you able to prove that you were right by I dont know, consulting a maxillofacial surgeon or taking CT scans or something? Cuz thats what I'm planning to do.
I believe that any doctor that you go to, even if they are paid by insurance and dont care if you come back to them or not, just want to diagnose you with something related to their field, So for example if you actually have a physical problem with your face and go to a psychiatrist, he/she assumes right from the beginning that you have a mental problem and thats why you are there so he/she will tell you have its all in your brain... While if you had gone to a dentist, or orthodontics, or a plastic surgeon, They would say that you are right and even point out things that you had not noticed yourself before..
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Some things are less subjective than others. If a surgeon takes x-rays of your face and can show with measurements that there's something wrong with it then that holds more weight to me than the pseudo science that psychiatrists practice.
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A really interesting thing about BDD is how even alot of psychiatrist don't know very well about it. They say that the person who has BDD sees himself/herself in a distorted way, not just in reflection in the mirror but also in the pictures and ... . Now the problem is that I have read that visual hallucination is a rare thing even in schizophrenia! which is one of the worst, if not the worst, kind of mental illness. So I dont think and I cant believe it that one can see a wrong image of him/herself in pictures! Even when I told the psychatrist that what if I bring CT scans that show that there is something wrong with my skull, he said well even then you might be seeing it wrong! I mean, you know it doesn't make sense to me how I can be seeing everything wrong and distored while Im a sane person in ever other way?!
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A lot of people are going to say "it's not that bad" even if it is. It's like, if you had a friend who was a bit chubby, and they complained that they felt fat, would you turn round and agree "yes, you are pretty fat!" - of course not
Some things are less subjective than others. If a surgeon takes x-rays of your face and can show with measurements that there's something wrong with it then that holds more weight
Exactly. Certain things can be quantified. However, quantified measurements look different on different faces. Some faces can 'get away' with a jaw discrepancy and still look attractive, more than others (e.g. women with class 3 looks worse than a guy because of fit, and vice versa for class 2. A face with a small nose doesn't look as bad with class 2 than a face with a large nose etc
to me than the pseudo science that psychiatrists practice.
It's not all pseudo science. Many majorly depressed people have legitimately higher levels of monoamine oxidase A, and correspondingly low serotonin and dopamine.
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A lot of people are going to say "it's not that bad" even if it is. It's like, if you had a friend who was a bit chubby, and they complained that they felt fat, would you turn round and agree "yes, you are pretty fat!" - of course not
I would! ;D
I'd rather have people tell me the truth than try to sugarcoat everything. Imagine that you walked around with bad breath and didn't know because no one told you so. Sometimes you're doing people a disservice by hiding the truth from them.
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I would! ;D
I'd rather have people tell me the truth than try to sugarcoat everything. Imagine that you walked around with bad breath and didn't know because no one told you so. Sometimes you're doing people a disservice by hiding the truth from them.
Agree! But a lot of people won't, especially friends or relatives
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I would! ;D
I'd rather have people tell me the truth than try to sugarcoat everything. Imagine that you walked around with bad breath and didn't know because no one told you so. Sometimes you're doing people a disservice by hiding the truth from them.
I completely agree with you. When you have bad breath people just dont want to continue talking with you, they dont tell you but they avoid you or cant focus on what you are saying and just want to finish so they get away... why not instead just politely tell you that you have bad breath? I myself always tell people if they have bad breath unless its a teacher or my boss or something then thats a different thing...
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The bad breath thing is so incredibly personal I honestly don't think I could bring myself to mention it directly. I might however offer them mints on a regular basis instead and hope they got the hint ;)
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Agree! But a lot of people won't, especially friends or relatives
Friends and relatives (especially the close ones) don't see you like strangers do. They are the worst people to objectively tell someone how they look.
I watched a program on facial reconstruction (I think it was a ted talks) and the guy mentioned children that needed facial reconstruction oftentimes had parents that were very oppose to it because they didn't see anything wrong with their kid. The kid was beautiful in their eyes, and perhaps that's a good thing, it's just not a helpful when someone is looking for an objective opinion.
What I'm saying is: I think there is more to it than people just being nice. You grow accustom to how someone looks so it doesn't seem out of the ordinary to you.
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Friends and relatives (especially the close ones) don't see you like strangers do. They are the worst people to objectively tell someone how they look.
+100. I remember looking at very old wedding reception photos of my relatives attended by my parents. I thought my parents were the best looking by far and how could I possibly be related to all these other bums?
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Friends and relatives (especially the close ones) don't see you like strangers do. They are the worst people to objectively tell someone how they look.
I watched a program on facial reconstruction (I think it was a ted talks) and the guy mentioned children that needed facial reconstruction oftentimes had parents that were very oppose to it because they didn't see anything wrong with their kid. The kid was beautiful in their eyes, and perhaps that's a good thing, it's just not a helpful when someone is looking for an objective opinion.
What I'm saying is: I think there is more to it than people just being nice. You grow accustom to how someone looks so it doesn't seem out of the ordinary to you.
Some of my family members and friends brushed my surgery issues off, and I suspect that this was because they didn't want them to get in the way of their own plans (i.e. socialising with them or doing favours on their behalf). Interestingly, they were the ones who were most concerned with their own looks. The ones who didn't care as much were a lot more sympathetic.
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For some reason it bothers people if you don't like something about your face/body. The emotion of it bothers them and they don't want to think or talk about it. They'd rather you just not make a big deal abut it.
I think the biggest issue is if you are trying to look like someone else, or can't find anything you like about your appearance.
It's okay to be unhappy that you have a big crooked nose, but it's not okay to be unhappy because your nose doesn't look exactly like Natalie Portman's...or if you think your eyes are wrong, and your nose is wrong, and your ears are wrong, etc.
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Funnily enough my Mother went with me to my last maxfac appointment to try and explain to my surgeon that I had BDD, he responded that actually no, he (me), doesn't have BDD, everything he noticed about his face is spot on.
I'd say it's only BDD if you really are attractive and still think your ugly - for example if you have many people who would love to date you, hook up with you, you get complimented on your face, people are generally very warm to you, yet you still hate your appearance, then your mentally ill / BDD.
But if you struggle to get anyones interest and have people being cold and unfavorable towards you and you suspect it's your looks, it may very well be, unfortunately.
Yes, that's right. Or if you are perhaps not amazingly attractive but have a hyper focus on something that is incidental, easily fixable or doesn't detract from the bigger picture. I've noticed how the rhino boards (in particular) are full of people like that.
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Yes, that's right. Or if you are perhaps not amazingly attractive but have a hyper focus on something that is incidental, easily fixable or doesn't detract from the bigger picture. I've noticed how the rhino boards (in particular) are full of people like that.
Or maybe they are focusing on the wrong things because they don't understand the underlying problem like a recessed mid face. Or like a guy I heard had one rhino after another. He simply did not realise that his mid face was very long and no rhino (or anything else for that matter) would fix it.
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Funnily enough my Mother went with me to my last maxfac appointment to try and explain to my surgeon that I had BDD, he responded that actually no, he (me), doesn't have BDD, everything he noticed about his face is spot on.
Close relations are blind, hence the expression "a face only a mother can love". My parents thought I was fine or only "needed a nose job... maybe". When I lost a lot of weight and my face basically collapsed because my upper jaw was recessed, they said it was because "I was starving myself". They saw the light when I had surgery (I weigh the same).
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Or maybe they are focusing on the wrong things because they don't understand the underlying problem like a recessed mid face. Or like a guy I heard had one rhino after another. He simply did not realise that his mid face was very long and no rhino (or anything else for that matter) would fix it.
I did that, to a degree - bear in mind that most "ugly" people (i.e. people with maxillofacial issues) usually start off by going down the PS route. I got suckered into having camouflage surgery - perhaps the guy you mention was being stringed along by that too. Maxfax was rarely talked about on the boards 5-6 years ago. Regardless, I could pinpoint everything that was off about my face (I called my mid face "caved in" and could see that the lower third was too long). Still, I didn't know that maxfax existed - no dentist mentioned it to me either.
But yeah, the long mid face is a beggar to fix, as I have been told.
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I did that, to a degree - bear in mind that most "ugly" people (i.e. people with maxillofacial issues) usually start off by going down the PS route. I got suckered into having camouflage surgery - perhaps the guy you mention was being stringed along by that too. Maxfax was rarely talked about on the boards 5-6 years ago. Regardless, I could pinpoint everything that was off about my face (I called my mid face "caved in" and could see that the lower third was too long). Still, I didn't know that maxfax existed - no dentist mentioned it to me either.
But yeah, the long mid face is a beggar to fix, as I have been told.
I always thought that I had a big lower jaw, big nose and "small upper teeth". I had no idea I had a recessed upper jaw. I was aware of jaw surgery, but only lower jaw - my dentist told me several times that I need to have my lower jaw moved back. I disregarded his advice.
A max fac I talked to claimed that PSs do not refer patients to max fac surgeons "out of ignorance". He even told me that a pretty famous PS he knows was unaware that maxillary surgery has such a big impact on the face. I find that hard to believe.
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What we are doing here is extreme and powerful.
Beauty is 70 percent bone structure, and 30 percent soft tissue and hair etc. quality. We are radically transforming the very infrastructure of our craniums. Some of us are going farther by essentially having our faces rearranged. This is not the PS route. This is radical and it is the future.
BDD by the way only means being obsessed and concerned by any "perceived" physical flaw to a degree that it is an obstacle to your normal functioning. So anyone can have BDD whether they are objectively beautiful or not. The issue here is we have to b honestly slf-critical. And take measures if we want to do this FOR OURSELVES. For some people this may lead to a bit of greater confidence.
BUT MARK MY WORDS. THE MEN OR SHOULD I SAY BOYS ON THIS BOARD WHO THINK IT WILL MAKE ONE INCH OF A DIFFERENCE IN TERMS OF THEIR ABILITY TO ATTRACT MATES OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ARE SADLY SADLY SO DELUDED THAT THEY WILL IN FACT FAIR FAR WORSE WITH WOMEN.
Attractiveness has NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW YOU LOOK OR HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE. It has to do with inner, that is INNER confidence and state. So we can tell from a mile away the silly BDD fools who are basically treading water all their lives, not even having enough real courage to have surgeries because they're doing it for pathetic reasons. You guys, man, PATHETIC.
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Well that first man is deformed level jaw structure, so yeah if you're at a level of actual like freak looking ugliness that's not gonna help, but the average class II or class III doesn't look that bad. There are f**king dozens of people posting their pics every day on this site being like "what's wrong with my jaw" obsessing that they can't get chicks cause of how they look and it's BS. Let me tell you something I'm average looking right now, have a mouth full of braces, and I'm actually getting pretty fat. I get laid by different HOT twenty year olds on a weekly basis. And I think i'm actually kind of ugly. I'm actually somewhat poor for my age and don't have a job. No car. An average apt. but in the real world I'm kinda confident and funny as hell and am into and have expertise in a lot of interesting things which I won't reveal here. What you've fallen for is the evolutionary psychology BS explanations which are full of holes you dips**t. Evolutionary psychology explanations are basically pseudo-science. Looks matter for women yes, BIGTIME. But not for men. For men it's all about confidence which can be translated through state and attitude and inner strength. That second pic where the guy has a better jawline. NO HE WILL NOT HAVE A BETTER SEX LIFE IF HIS PERSONALITY IS MEEK AND LOSERISH AND INSECURE. I"VE SEEN GUYS TEN TIMES HOTTER THAN HIM BLOW IT WITH EVERY GIRL THEY MEET. Anyway, i don't want to get into this s**t here anymore so I won't respond. I know this is all true, so I don't need to convince you. Was just trying to give some real enlightenment to the board. But of course I knew f**ktards like you are so stubborn cause you love your pain and are so attached to the beliefs that make you isolated and blow it with girls. Dude, it's safer and easier for you to believe yeah it's cause of your looks you can't get hot girls. Cause otherwise it would actually be your personality which and you'd have to take chances and be other there in th world. So whatever stay safe in your flawed and idiotically beta beliefs you hardcase newbie.
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Tumerican, my profile isn't too different from yours and I've dated some very attractive girls. I'd be significantly more confident with a better jawline, sure, but it's not something that can't be compensated for to some extent.
I agree that certain aspects of physical attractiveness are objective and universal, such as the importance of healthy, proportionate features, but there are subjective aspects to beauty as well. For example, the traditional east Asian ideal of beauty preferred small eyes and long, flat faces for both men and women.
(http://images.ookaboo.com/photo/m/Kuniyoshi_Utagawa_2C_Women_22_m.jpg)
(http://www.japaneseprints-london.com/ukiyoe/images/Utagawa-KUNIYOSHI-1797-1861-warriors170_small.jpg)
The Medieval and Renaissance European ideals were, similarly, very different from our own. Large, downturned eyes and low cheekbones were considered beautiful in both men and women. The current fad on the other hand favours strong cheekbones with smaller, uptilted eyes.
(http://vlsi.colorado.edu/~rbloem/photos/David_right_profile.gif)
(https://watercolorjournal.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/david-michelangelo-detail1.png)
(http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/29-Feb-2004/11410-rubens79.jpg)