Do you bear a grudge against yourself?

[deyapretty]

Hello,

I wanted to know if some of you felt responsible for the way your jaw and face grew in general.
I feel so bitter about the fact that if I hadn't sucked my thumb until I was 12 (day and night) I wouldn't have had the face I have now.
I had been told so many times not to suck my thumb and now my eyes are droopy (not looking very bright to other people like if I was dumb), the space between my nose and mouth wouldn't be so huge, I wouldn't have that awkward receding chin nor that flat middle face or those dark circles under my eyes because the bone is too low. I wouldn't have to control my tongue thrust and wouldn't have needed braces at the age of 13. I now have a slight overbite and tilted teeth...

I can't blame the orthodontist for the braces because all she did was trying to fix the mess I had done myself (and myself only).
If I hadn't been a stupid little girl I wouldn't even be posting there because I'd be fine!

I'm so conscious about the way my face looks... It's obsessing me. It's not like if I imagined myself with blue eyes (because having brown eyes is definitely not something I could have changed) but I keep thinking how I may have looked if I didn't mess it all up.


Sorry for the angry post. I'm mad right now. ><

[babyface99]

Yea i look in the mirror everyday and want to punch my stupid f**king ugly face

[buzzhead]

On a superficial level I can understand why you feel the way you do, but really that is a view that everyone can take about one thing or another.  People who jumped into a swimming pool wrong and became paralyzed or stepped out in front of a moving vehicle would really have something to second guess about.  it would be like if I myself was to obsess that if I only got this or that college degree and if I only took that job instead of the other or did one thing and not the other I could have been rich, famous etc. etc.....  The point being that it is a pointless endeavor.  You really don't know and can't know how you really would have turned out.  Could have been worse in a different way that you couldn't imagine.

[terry947]

yup same here. Wish i wasn't a mouth breather growing up.

[needadvancement]

I really regret having such poor dental health for most of my youth and eating so much junkfood(namely candy) which gave me a ton of cavities and I ended up with a lot of crowding and a recessed lower jaw. I know this was the cause because my siblings or parents all have well developed jaws and teeth and they all had much better diets than me growing up.

I can only blame myself because my parents, dentists and school always made it clear that I should take good care of my teeth. But I was too lazy and didn't listen, being very young at the time isn't an excuse because I still knew better.

[Icy]

Totally. I hate myself and others for not stopping my poor habits leaving me with this deformed face. I was also a thumb sucker until age 11, also a mouth breather. Had I not done these two things I would have been so attractive. Instead now I have to deal with this mess, add failed prior orthodontics which made the problem worse and I'm just a huge ball of bitterness about my looks.

[ForeverDet]

Totally. I hate myself and others for not stopping my poor habits leaving me with this deformed face. I was also a thumb sucker until age 11, also a mouth breather. Had I not done these two things I would have been so attractive. Instead now I have to deal with this mess, add failed prior orthodontics which made the problem worse and I'm just a huge ball of bitterness about my looks.

You are not deformed and nobody outside of this forum or yourself would point out your smile/class II bite as abnormal. I understand your feelings though, I had them to an extent pre-surgery which was partly mild dysmorphia (it still lingers even now that my defects are fixed). My extremely negative self-perception caused me infinitely more grief than my s**tty jaw development ever did.

I didn't mean that as an attack btw or to be rude, there is just an unfortunate psychological component that most of us here have that is a major cause of our psychosocial problems. Our dentofacial issues are a cause too of course. 

EDIT: I think I recall you mentioning in your thread your bite is off, that is a concerning functional issue and I wasn't minimizing that aspect.

[Icy]

You are not deformed and nobody outside of this forum or yourself would point out your smile/class II bite as abnormal. I understand your feelings though, I had them to an extent pre-surgery which was partly mild dysmorphia (it still lingers even now that my defects are fixed). My extremely negative self-perception caused me infinitely more grief than my s**tty jaw development ever did.

I didn't mean that as an attack btw or to be rude, there is just an unfortunate psychological component that most of us here have that is a major cause of our psychosocial problems. Our dentofacial issues are a cause too of course. 

EDIT: I think I recall you mentioning in your thread your bite is off, that is a concerning functional issue and I wasn't minimizing that aspect.

Not to worry, I understood your meaning. I've felt literal pain (psychological and physical) as a result of the problems I have and the resentment stems mainly from this. Personality changes with dentofacial deformities are par for the course - I was a happy confident child until my face changed, social withdrawal and lack of confidence followed. Friends and family don't notice or understand in the way I do (I am a portrait painter, faces are all I focus on); I have always known there was something off, I just didn't understand why until adulthood. The functional issues kind of feel like an additional kick when already down, I'm sure you can relate. :/