Feeling Lost/dont know what expectations to have/ugly

[Dartsfordays123]

I just dont know what to even type, I apologise if this thread is off topic or not allowed but please dont ban me.

I feel so incredibly confused and ugly. I dont have a ceph, or photos to post because I haven't gotten around to proceeding with that yet but it is obvious to me that I have some sort of maxillofacial or craniofacial issues and development problem because I just wouldn't look the way I do if I didn't.

I can clearly remember mouth breathing from an incredibly young age due to pneumonia at like age 4 in which I without a doubt would have been using my mouth to breathe, I also had braces at like 14 which probably messed by s**t up quite a bit.

- My eyes are small and too close together in relation to face
- bad maxilla/forward growth
- bad gonial angle and ramus growth
- weak chin projection
- incredibly poor ??suborbitals?? ??infraorbitals??
- cheekbones so low-set that they're inline with my nasal tip
- ugly skin with bad comedonal acne
- high hairline
- weird forehead shape (its hard to explain but picture the eyebrow to hairline area [including temples] as being an upside down 'U' shape rather than a shape that resembles '|      |')
- Lips that are narrow and in a permanent frown

I don't want people to say blah blah blah get a haircut blah blah use facial cleanser, just dress better dude because dont waste your breath.

I just want my craniofacial/maxillofacial structure optimised and fixed...

I'm convinced a LeFort I in addition to a Modified LeFort III would be benificial due to rather bad upper mid face recession, but I know I'd need far more on top of that to be happy...

I dont want to be a model, I just want the best facial structure I can have...

Is abormal jaw and facial development reversable/fixable through surgery?

feels bad man

Again sorry, please dont ban me, I just needed to rant.

[UKMaxfac]

Maldevelopment is fixable with surgery in many cases, but not all.

Without pictures its impossible to tell what you'd need. It takes a few seconds to take a pic - I assume you have a phone?

Best

[The Quest for Aesthetics]

Would the evidence that you use to class yourself as 'ugly' hold up in a court? Would it be shared by the majority of the population? If the answer is no or you're unsure, then its very possible that you're dealing with a distorted self perception. Body dysmophia is very similar to anorexia. It literally makes you see something different in the mirror from what everybody else sees. I know because I suffered with it for around a year before seeking treatment. Looking back, it's crazy how I saw something totally different in the mirror compared to what I see now. Even if you are objectively below average, body dysmorphia creates an obsessive headspace that can be very detrimental to mental health. Often this obsessive headspace draws from 'cognitive distortions' which are underlying assumptions that you assume to be true, despite logical evidence to the contrary.

Failing or refusing to recognise that your self perception may be a product of cognitive distortions, serves only to perpetuates the disorder. The faster you learn to identify and reconstitute the cognitive distortions, the closer you will come to recovery with your mental health. I can help you out with this if need be as I've gone through cognitive restructuring myself. Your first step is to get a diagnosis of BDD, and acknoledging the result of the diagnosis (many patients refuse to acknowledge the existence of the disorder despite professional, international recognition of it).

[Dartsfordays123]

@the quest for aesthetics

I've read a lot of your posts and greatly value your input.

Do I have bdd? possibly, will i get help? definitely.

HOWEVER

I only fixate on these things simply because each aren't normal, if a maxfac told me they were normal then they're normal, but I can assure you they're not. Thus I have to now play the jaw surgery game.

Also can you check your PMs please?