There is sadness to a degree but I'm used that - its my normal so to speak.
Suicide definitly not - I make above average money so it allows me to at least save and have the option of improving things. I don't really socialise so its mostly girls at my work place or who I see about in the city who act the way they do. Its just the way things are. As I said I probably give off a certain vibe.
You say definitely no suicide, as your earnings can allow you to remain in an inertia-like state and continue to entertain "options" whilst you stall...
You know, I think your biggest issue is one of conviction. You can either decide to adjust whatever you see fit and commit to that, seeing it through until the bitter end, or you can make peace with your face and challenge yourself to move forward. The options you feel you're giving yourself are in fact barriers you've constructed to protect yourself from these hangups becoming realities. Thus, you are able to avoid doing things that might affirm your fears concerning women, etc.
Unfortunately shy people can sometimes come across as unfriendly. There will literally be no other reason for colleagues, who see you every day, to look at you strangely.
