There seems to be alot of pressure nowadays on beauty and how your face looks. I personally really have difficulties to deal with it, even though my face is better than before. I'm in my 30s. I thought this bulls**t about looks would be gone in my 30s, but after the procedures I've done it's even more ingrained in my mindset. Due to these procedures, I'm even more focused on looks it seems, cause I lived isolated due to botched jobs, and I had to prepare myself every time mentally and focus on my face and the procedures. And now, the whole ageing thing gives me more pressure as well. Before the procedures, I was aware of my looks etc., but there were periods I could cope with other things. Now, the only cope that's left is a woman saying I look good. Things have been narrowed down. I'm also bombarded by media and forums about the importance of looks. I don't visit these lookism forums etc., but there was a time I did and this bleak, dark perspective about the world and human interaction is something that matched my already existing worldview. I know that women find other things important in men as well, especially status/social proof, but I have very little status and almost no social circle. Can't just create status out of thin air. Going to the club (I went there last week) seems pointless without a s**tton of social proof (or looking really good). 95 percent of men walk into the club without women (very little social proof), 80-90 percent of them go home without one. And let's be honest, most men just want to find a girl when they're out, mostly just to have sex.
It's just a difficult time I guess. I'm also not mentally and emotionally stable because of environmental pressure, or because of my own fcked up emotional system, it's a chicken or egg thing. It's just what it is. I feel the pressure constantly. I have a decent job, own house, I earn well. It could have been worse, but still, there's this overall dissatisfaction about how life is and how it went. Trying to fool myself doesn't work quite well. We all need some coping in life, but it's difficult to cope. I do have a girlfriend, but she's 4years older than me and married. I'm not in love with her, I do appreciate her, she's really nice and emphatic to me, but I want but just can't do better than her even though I look (much) better than her. The fact she's cheating on her husband complicates things as well.
Going on Tinder seems to be a hell as well, judging by what people say. A friend of mine is on Tinder and he really has to put some crazy pics to pull: shirtless pics, pics with other women, pics of him traveling and with a nice car, pics with a dog, etc. Some stupid superficial bulls**t. I know how it is: fake it till you make it, whether it's looks, personality or portraying some fake interesting life.
I know, from another perspective: this is life, it's a ratrace, it has never been different, just accelerated. Maybe I should just drop everything and leave to a place where nobody gives a fck about material stuff. From what I see, some men are just pushed out of the dating market. I personally don't believe in love anymore. Yes, it exists as an emotion, but it can't exist without certain natural preconditions. I lost my naivity.
Then there's the option of drugs. I know drugs work, especially coke. It's also fake of course. Fake a great mindset and low inhibition. I'm really tempted to use drugs again. It seems like the shortest way to attract women as well (besides looking like a male model, but I'm decent looking, just okay, not more than that).
I don't know, it just all seems so depressing. And then you have people that say: 'just be yourself'. That might seem like the best advice if it wasn't the most difficult thing to achieve. I'm not myself. I already changed my looks, so I will never be my real self anymore. My inner self is fcked at the moment too. I won't say I'm depressed, more like anxious. Anxiety is such a terrible emotion, but it's part of me on a daily basis. Throwing the extreme focus on looks out of my mindset is throwing 80 percent of me out of me, if you understand what I mean. Still, it makes me sick sometimes. This whole ratrace, whether it's about looks or money or whatever. But I have no choice than to hop on the ratrace or live like that ancient greek that lived in a barrel.
The women I currently see doesn't give much about looks. Well, some imperfections make her insecure, but it never stays in her mind for a long time (at least, that's what she says). Some people just don't give a sh*t about it, making me think there's something wrong with me. I know there is something wrong with me, but I sometimes wonder how much of it is caused by my own crazy mindset or by the environment and just how absurd life is and me being aware of the crazyness of things.
This post is starting to look like a rant. Well, it probably is
main question is: how do you deal with this beauty-pressure mentally? How do you deal with the procedure(s) you've done?
