Author Topic: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents  (Read 5227 times)

Tiny

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Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« on: August 05, 2013, 06:08:06 PM »
Hi all

So, this past week I've been in London I have consulted with two very good private orthdontists and one surgeon.   Given that the surgeon allayed most of my fears about the surgery and all 3 of them confirmed that it would be impossible to fix my bite through regular orthodontics I have now decided that I do want to go through with the surgery.  (For those who don't know, I have a class 2 div 2 deep bite and short face, underdeveloped mandible and will be getting either orthodontic decomp and then BSSO advancement of around 6-7mm, or decomp and lefort 1 with CCW and set back of 1-2mm, plus BSSO advancement of 6-7mm)

My problem now is explaining why I want to get this surgery to my parents, friends and boyfriend.  Each person has their own reasons for not wanting me to get the surgery, namely
- my stepfather is a doctor has seen BSSOs and Le Forts as part of his anaesthetic rotation...30 years ago.  So he thinks it's a much more brutal procedure than it currently is - the surgeon I consulted does BSSOs in 45-60 mins and 1 night in hospital (rather than 3hrs, blood transfusion and ICU...)
- my father, who annoyingly likes to nosy into my financial affairs, will not want me to spend so much of my cash on a surgery he sees as cosmetic.
- my boyfriend doesn't want me to change my face.  (Which he thinks is beautiful but as a guy who is class 1 and never had braces,  with great facial bone structure and strong jaw (the bastard), I don't think he knows what it's like to a have messed up bite/be a chinless wonder)
- my sister can be spiteful and I am sure she will not be supportive of the surgery...I think most sisters are unlikely to support anything that could potentially make the other sister a bit more attractive.  She was pretty b*tchy about my rhino (mainly I think because she wants one but her bf would be very against it).  Both my sister and mother are class 1 with good bites and no problems with gum recession despite very sporadic dental visits.
- both sets of parents are anti cosmetic surgery of any kind.  Of course, parents think their kids faces are fine even when they have bone deformities.....  ::)


In my case it is a little tricky as although my bite is s**tty I have not yet developed major functional issues or TMJ.  My main issue, functionally, is the gum recession I have around my lower incisors as a result of my deep overbite.  My ortho has advised to have a gum graft on 2 teeth and has said that I may well lose these teeth at some point in the next 10-15 years due to the gum recession; my father has a similar bite and has lost these exact same teeth.  Surgery will improve the gum situation; I really would hate to lose teeth.  I am only 26 and have never had a filling despite poor enamel on my 4 remaining molars (4 were removed at 15, the wisdom teeth developed with decent enamel).   I do not eat sugar or fruit juice at all but am very prone to plaque and have to go to the dentist every 4 months at a minimum for descaling.  The gum recession on one tooth is significant; they are over erupted by about 1mm which doesn't help.  Because of the deep bite, I will also develop worn back teeth over time leading to bite and facial collapse.

I am not sure what I can do in this situation other than say 'it's my teeth and my face and I want to do the surgery, so basically STFU'.  Wanting improve my profile and lack of chin is not going to cut it as a valid reason, and I doubt potential tooth loss/tooth wear is going to convince them that I should get the surgery.  However, it's a hard recovery and I really would like to go into it with the support of at least a couple of people close to me

How did everyone else explain their surgery to their parents and SOs?  What was their reaction?  Did anyone have parents who were against it and go through with it anyway?

CK

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2013, 06:20:18 PM »
50-60 minute surgery? that is sketchy. most people dont need blood transfusions. i rather have a surgeon take their time then do a speed run like some guys.

Tiny

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2013, 06:24:33 PM »
50-60 minute surgery? that is sketchy.

It surprised me but this surgeon is pretty much the best in the UK.  Maybe he meant the bone cutting part rather than the entire surgery.

most people don't need blood transfusions.

Not now they don't but 30 years ago it was reasonably common in bimax, according to my stepfather.  Maybe he is wrong - not sure how you can lose so much blood that you require a transfusion?  Regardless, he is convinced that it's a horrorshow brutal surgery


CK, what did your family think about your surgery, if you don't mind me asking?

pekay

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2013, 06:33:43 PM »
What about Dr Brian Musgrove? he is supposed to be good, no?
Chopsticks > Spoons

CK

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2013, 06:33:54 PM »
i was told i might need it before i got my braces on when i was 12. even before that like 8 my parents were advised of surgery but chose braces instead since the ortho said it was a reasonable alternative...and if i still needed surgery i could get it later with no harm done.

i never "wanted" surgery it just had to happen. my family was supportive if only through guilt. if i were in your position i cant see my family being super supportive of surgery though.

Cmonster

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2013, 08:02:45 PM »
Definitely get more than 3 consults, with surgeons that have good results and ones that you find aesthetically pleasing. It means nothing in the world if people say saying surgeon X is great but you think their work is so so... With A/G they have a very specific philosophy lots of CCW if thats not something you feel comfortable with, pass on them.
I can say stupidjaws had a really great result with Pelo very natural. Mommaerts is a good one to consult with too but heard he might be retiring soon so look into that... I wouldnt recommend going with a surgeon in Egypt as harsh as that might sound. Look for top surgeons in Europe that will be your best bet.
Its going to be trickier, I think for you to convince your family because well they have their mind set on what they think is right. The key question is how will double jaw surgery affect all the previous surgeries you've done? There is a likelyhood of some change in the nose with any upper jaw movement, impaction, ccw, linear projection etc- does that worry you at all? I saw your pics in the members section and you are pretty, I know you have you heart set on having this surgery but I want to say if your functional issues do not outweighing your aesthetic ones, stop while your ahead, trust me.
We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

Tiny

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2013, 08:24:14 PM »
Look for top surgeons in Europe that will be your best bet.
The trouble with looking for surgeons in Europe is the pre-op ortho work.  They would have to be OK with working with an ortho overseas and many will not be.  Additionally, I only come to Europe every 2 months or so and am usually packed with work so it would be tricky to go gallivanting around Italty looking for surgeons  >:(

The key question is how will double jaw surgery affect all the previous surgeries you've done? There is a likelyhood of some change in the nose with any upper jaw movement, impaction, ccw, linear projection etc- does that worry you at all? I saw your pics in the members section and you are pretty, I know you have you heart set on having this surgery but I want to say if your functional issues do not outweighing your aesthetic ones, stop while your ahead, trust me.

"all the previous surgeries" consist of one primary septo-rhinoplasty (which I was planning anyway but actually got after I broke my nose at MMA and was left with a big bump, asyemmetry and a totally ruined septum) and one smallish silicone chin implant.   The nose will be fully healed by the time I get jaw surgery and should be fine but might swell a little more than a 'virgin' nose.   The chin implant just means I don't have to get a genio at this stage, if I want.  It wouldn't affect the BSSO as it's in a different part of the jaw.

If I got upper I'd get a little CCW and no more than 2mm set back. No impaction as I need all the length I can get!  From what I've seen CCW rotates the tip of the nose up if it does affect the it at all and I'm not that bothered about that, and if moving the upper jaw back moves the nose back too, that's a positive.

My concern is that my functional issues will get worse over time - I'm particularly concerned about potential tooth loss and degradation.  I don't want to get to 35 and wish I'd done the surgery 10 years earlier.  The parentals, I guess, will have to suck it up - at the end of the day it's my cash, I can do what I like with it.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2014, 05:10:18 PM by Tiny »

overbiter

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2013, 01:25:47 PM »
Maybe you should have had yourself checked for sleep apnea. That's easier to explain but I suppose it is too late now.

Tiny

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Re: Explaining your jaw surgery to friends and parents
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2013, 02:52:00 PM »
Maybe you should have had yourself checked for sleep apnea. That's easier to explain but I suppose it is too late now.

I don't think I have it.  I never sleep on my back as it leads to mega snoring.  I've had a septoplasty and can breath better now that I could before - my septum was all over the place!