Author Topic: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy  (Read 10762 times)

tie

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Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« on: May 22, 2021, 03:39:30 PM »
Im writing here in the Emotional support forum  - cause it's a rant , cause i don't really i'll ever be able to achieve pleasing , nice-to-look-at look... and it's emotinally devestating for me -  i can not live like this.

I dont open bite, upper bite  ...lower bite -non of this . My problem is "just" auesthetics.. i've written here before - i had a more than average beautiudl unique facial features.
In ten years (i'm 40 yo guy with extreme auesthetic sensetivity)  - in ten years - my whole third part of face collapsed... i need to stretch down.. rotate my jaw to start just start achieving a tip of nicer look (and even if i does it - it doesn't much help) - while , lets' say 5 years ago - i only had to stretch my chin 3 mm down to stimulate nicer look.

I can't bare to look at my face, i dont have any will to leave house... my face had changed drasticlly. i have a medical complicated history . We don't have doctors i trust in my country - and even if there are - most of the jaw surgeons here - do it for healthy issues - rarely this surgery is done just for auesthetics.. i can't see me doing it in a strange country ... i only wished as first step that i'll find a doctors that really gets me , that just look at me and understand what's bothers me.
I will not post pictures. i did here in the past . i was comfirmed by memebers (also by doctors) that comparision of my face now and 10 years ago show tremendous change and face collaption.  I think this collapstion of jaw - like a card tower made my whole face "collapsed"  - jaw line starts dispearing... chin got 50% smaller... vertical face length got smaller (this is the MAIN problems - face got shorter) - in conswquence to that - cheek skin looks fuller (if the face is "longer" - the skin stretches more .. .. and even when there is more skin- i've lost all my cheek bones (i have natural cheekbones that people get surgery to get these cheekbones - not it's all flat. i hardly recognize myself - it's not me. it's mentally devestating for me to live like that .  If once i know - 'oh yeah - a bit of mm here  .. or decreases in mm there .. or make the face a bit "longer" - will make me more pleasing looking... now i can't even imagine .. what i need to get done so i can look at my self with please again in the mirror - i truely dont see it's possible.

They say - if you can dream it you can do it . Once i could a bit strectch my cheek and i'd look better - so i could go to a plastic surgeron and say " please lift my cheek". Today - no matter what "tricks" i try to do in front of the mirror - i look extremly not pleasing. Devestated by it . Feel lost in where to turn.
That's it - had to let it out - for only the "letting it out" .

thanks

LeFort 3000

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2021, 06:16:06 PM »
your case is really sad and dramatic indeed. to see beauty just fade away without "reason". you should concentrate on custom implants. dont give up

GJ

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2021, 06:40:12 PM »
Why did your face collapse so badly?
Millimeters are miles on the face.

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2021, 12:52:21 AM »
your case is really sad and dramatic indeed. to see beauty just fade away without "reason". you should concentrate on custom implants. dont give up

Do you remember my pictures ? or just saying from reading above ?

Thank you much.

You think maybe i should leave the jaw surgery option (i also dont think i can have the mental strength to go jaw surgery even though im convinced thats whay caused my problems) .... the implants..i wish i can find someone in my country to do it and will have the stregth to go.  Anychance you know a good face implants doctor in europe ? i don;'t think i can go there - but maybe try

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2021, 12:58:44 AM »
Why did your face collapse so badly?

Thank you - i don't know . no one knows. im devestated.. im not a "doer" for years - i don't think it'll ever be fixed. i have 0  joy of live and nothing mental can solve it (only if i'll look in the mirror again with joy) . i'm so devestated for so many years inside - i don't find a doctor with ausethetic eye that i can even trust - everyone are so generic .

SOme of my change is look is - ok - i don't belive in it - bet lets say - againg - but for me its totally more than aging it's dramatic.. it might be bone loss that i suffer from (im 40 yo) but now what ? nothing can bring back lost bone - so i still have so figure out solutions... even before the bone or tissues look - my jaw like shifted.. it's seen as milimeter in MRI .. docotr last time said he can operate and rotate the jaw he saw justification (after a few years ago he refused cause said i'm still not yet for surgery) but i don't know ... im thinking about auesthtical or something but don't know what to do - they all seem genereic give generic options that just will "blow" my face with volume that will not give nice effect just blow it more.. i dont know.

Im soo lost. i wish i was more of a doer. i cant' i dont wanna even leave house for consult looking like that .and also its not that i find a consult in my country of doctor i really trust. yes if you wanna find a nose job surgeon - or breast implants surgeon or tummy suck surgeon - thats you'll find thosands.... jaw enlargements etc.. havent find. if anyonw know of someone in Europe ill be glad to hear .

GJ

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2021, 04:36:46 AM »
I looked back at your posts, and you shared photos at some point, but they're not there anymore. I was curious if this is an exaggeration of your perception or real. I know you believe it's real, but objectively I'm curious if it is.

I get that you think you'll never leave the house again. That might be true. But it might not be true, either. The human mind is very adaptable.
Millimeters are miles on the face.

kavan

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2021, 10:45:47 AM »
I've seen his photos before. But yes, since he first put up, the IMGUR link doesn't show them anymore. He's not exaggerating. I can confirm that. He has a lot of bone loss from tooth extractions. Tooth extractions, I think, from infections. On top of that, he has a PAIN CONDITION and pain, itself generates more stress and more aging. It's unclear what his pain condition is. Initially, when he first posted, the only thing I could think of was Trigeminal Neuralgia. But I think he may have said that was ruled out. With a lot of infected teeth and extractions, it also could be periodontal disease. Of course, I DON'T KNOW. I'm just stating the possibilities I would be familiar with as to 'mysterious pain condition' (to face) and/or need for multiple extractions, the former being TGN and the latter being periodontal disease when many prior infections were at play for the tooth loss. But of course, there could be other conditions at play where a legit diagnosis would be needed (as opposed to my limited familiarity with 2 possible culprits).

If he had either TGN or periodontal issues, I think, a surgeon would be reluctant to do surgery as more pain in excess of normal post op pain could occur or lingering periodontal issues risk infection from a surgery to the jaws. Hence, I would encourage him to keep pursuing a DIAGNOSIS as to the mysterious pain problem and the bone atrophy problem because knowing what is going on would be an important consideration for any surgeon entertaining the possibility of surgery.


I looked back at your posts, and you shared photos at some point, but they're not there anymore. I was curious if this is an exaggeration of your perception or real. I know you believe it's real, but objectively I'm curious if it is.

I get that you think you'll never leave the house again. That might be true. But it might not be true, either. The human mind is very adaptable.
Please. No PMs for private advice. Board issues only.

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2021, 06:02:10 PM »
I've seen his photos before. But yes, since he first put up, the IMGUR link doesn't show them anymore. He's not exaggerating. I can confirm that. He has a lot of bone loss from tooth extractions. Tooth extractions, I think, from infections. On top of that, he has a PAIN CONDITION and pain, itself generates more stress and more aging. It's unclear what his pain condition is. Initially, when he first posted, the only thing I could think of was Trigeminal Neuralgia. But I think he may have said that was ruled out. With a lot of infected teeth and extractions, it also could be periodontal disease. Of course, I DON'T KNOW. I'm just stating the possibilities I would be familiar with as to 'mysterious pain condition' (to face) and/or need for multiple extractions, the former being TGN and the latter being periodontal disease when many prior infections were at play for the tooth loss. But of course, there could be other conditions at play where a legit diagnosis would be needed (as opposed to my limited familiarity with 2 possible culprits).

If he had either TGN or periodontal issues, I think, a surgeon would be reluctant to do surgery as more pain in excess of normal post op pain could occur or lingering periodontal issues risk infection from a surgery to the jaws. Hence, I would encourage him to keep pursuing a DIAGNOSIS as to the mysterious pain problem and the bone atrophy problem because knowing what is going on would be an important consideration for any surgeon entertaining the possibility of surgery.

Thank you Kavan .
I appreciate your honesty - cause i'm fed up with doctors bulls**t - or psycologist... or out surroding (family etc.) that gives us the bulls**t of - "yes - you look fine.. you look the same ) (by the way even my family and friends don't sell me this BS - they admit there is a real change. they can't even fake-comfort me that "no.. its not THAT bad" ...

I wanted to reply to GJ  that i don't think i exarate , and i know coming from me - would not be a "trustblae" source since i testify on myself - so thanks for the reasurance from aside .  Yes - i delted the pictures since of course i have EXTREME issues with showing my pictures , more yet -over the net.. it was totally hard for me to upload them in the first place - but i really appreciate your both opninios so i wanted to give and to respect you with all the info(pictures) so i can get your view that i toally appreciate.

 I must tell you - i think it's a combination of things.
Tn - was rulled out this week by a neurosugeon - but again - he could be wrong - in a small precent. i've seen so many cases over the years that don't "act" like the medical books. Anyway -  it is some kind of pain under the umbrella of "facial pains'" . i must tell you that whiel the pain is totally extrutationg (i just took my daily morphin pill) - the emotional distress from my look is bad the same and maybe even more.

What happened is this :
in 2008 i got hit by someone on the jaw - it was a hard hit - but i didn't quite remember it - and did'nt have pain from it
In 2010 - 2 years later - i went to a simple dental filling - which a day after EXTREME pain in the tooth that was treated . extreme  .

over the years with the pain i've extractyed 5 teeth - but i can CONFIRM you for a fact that the change in my jaw was WAYY before extractions were done.
In the 6 first monthes of the pain my jaw angle changed. totally . i told my best friend "be honest -don't you see the angle of my jaw became croocked - no nice to the eye" he told me - i don't want to offend you - but yes- something happened.

of course extracting teeth over the years + pain that made me chew only on one side etc.. made my face more atrophic - and it's a vicious circle - but this are side reasons fot the change  - change was quite immediatly in the first 6 monthes .

By the way over the years i got pain on the other side - that was also after many scan (many) showed no reason - and i was told it's a "nerve" issue- they were wrong - they failed to see a severe infection i had in sinus because of fistula in my jaw . this year - again - after many doctors failed to see it - i did a "bone scan" you can clearly see there - one side of my face is BLACK meaning infection or inflamation.

I know i'm far of a candadiate of auesthetic surgery in my condition - but i don't have a life - not only because of the pain - because i lost all spark of life - i used to get looks, attention when i got into the room. now no one in the street even look at me - they immediatly look the other way like i don't exist.  i don't care about them - i want "ME" to like what i see in the mirror .

I must say Kavan and GJ you both have extreme persice view and kavan - i would have pay for you to sit with my jaw surgeon with drafs and show him exactly what needs to be done in my face in order to at least make me half pleasant as I was.  i think it's jaw... cheeks.. lip that got sunken... chin that recceded like 50%... so much...(and yes - hair balding which is another issue but also of course effect look) .

GJ - i get it that my case might look as BDD - I totally get it  - and in some ways it is - if i can'r stand looking at mirror - if i have no joy waking up to look at my self - if i feel that no one can comfort me with my looks - yes it's has BDD is it - BUT - what is the person is not imaginging it - and his face really got really bad and really ugly - objectivly ?
This would be  a sin to go on the pshcologic path - when everyone can SEE the truth.

That's it . i wish i could get a wiser advice for me - but i know it's not much possible (i'm sure out there there is a doctor that will take one look at me and see it all . BTW i have consulation via skype with dR defranck he totally saw what was visibly wrong with me - he said i have enlonged jaw bone on one side. .and in order to return in to normal he has to rotate the jaw . But he didnt give an explanation to pain or what happened - he just noticed the change in face and what looks bad now .

Anyway - thanks for letting me share - and for the support and advises.






GJ

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2021, 06:25:52 PM »
No I wasn't saying it was BDD; just that I wish I could see the photos myself to see objectively it's as bad as you say. BDD gets thrown around to explain anyone who doesn't like their looks. So, I'm not saying it's that. I didn't even use the words/letters BDD in my comment.

I went through a phase like yours and also have pain, so I get it. The thing I am telling you: we are adaptive. You might adapt and snap out of it somehow. I don't even know how that happens. Basically getting up each day, thinking about what you do have, and just putting one foot in front of the other and realizing how strong and adaptable you are and can be. Suddenly things change. It might take years, but it's possible.

I'd also highly suggest trying medical marijuana. I've had some amazing revelations while on (recreational) marijuana. But for me it's legal. Of course, if you live in a State or Country where that's illegal, then don't do this. But it's a very interesting option to at least help with the mental part.
Millimeters are miles on the face.

ghiggson90

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2021, 08:02:41 PM »
I haven’t seen your photos, so I cannot comment.

But consider psilocybin or MDMA, which show promise for PTSD and depressive disorders.

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2021, 09:30:28 AM »
No I wasn't saying it was BDD; just that I wish I could see the photos myself to see objectively it's as bad as you say. BDD gets thrown around to explain anyone who doesn't like their looks. So, I'm not saying it's that. I didn't even use the words/letters BDD in my comment.

I went through a phase like yours and also have pain, so I get it. The thing I am telling you: we are adaptive. You might adapt and snap out of it somehow. I don't even know how that happens. Basically getting up each day, thinking about what you do have, and just putting one foot in front of the other and realizing how strong and adaptable you are and can be. Suddenly things change. It might take years, but it's possible.

I'd also highly suggest trying medical marijuana. I've had some amazing revelations while on (recreational) marijuana. But for me it's legal. Of course, if you live in a State or Country where that's illegal, then don't do this. But it's a very interesting option to at least help with the mental part.

Thanks i appreciate it.
I know - BDD (as other mediacal vauge conditions ) are thorwn too easily.
medical marijuana - never helped my pain - and it's ok - i didnt like it's effect anyway.
I got it legaly by doctors -but it didn't help and im ok with that.


I might some day again put the pictures to see u guys opinions.. but not now.
again - of course you won't see me from a prince to monster - it's not the worse photoes you've see ever. of course not . - but it is a huge different . and as i well quoue your signature - milimiters are miles on face .

You are right - and i was glad to hear you share your experience with chronic pain... the thing is - yes- at some point i might "get" a bit - to just being ugly.. not have any spark when i leave the house - know that no one will look at me .. .etc etc.. it'll be out on nessisity.. but i don't want it.
Im 12 years with chornic pain - and change in my look . It MIGHT end one day. it PROBOBALY change (for better or worse over time) - but for now for me - i've been passive in the last 12 years with seeing my look deteriorate EXTREMELY and didn't have the confidence to tell doctors - STOP - i want this to stop -i want to do something about it.
I let other people  decide for me ("well.. you deal with chronic pain - that more improtant to solve than the pain". etc.)  I was to put my self in aserative position. I admit - if there is only one thing i envy people  , mostly men I see - is that they can make a decision . TRY in life - even if it gets you to a bad place.. do a plastic surgery - yes taking the small risk that something will get wrong... I for example very apprecite transgender people - for the courage - they make changes in thier life that other people don't even do 1% of it ... and i don't have this thing in me i try to get inspiration from reading your insight.. not only on the profesional side on "what to do" (because honestly - yes - i don't really know what i need to do in my face) .. but also i try to get your insights on how to be a DOER  . Maybe this is a good example here - i keep trying and overthinking and over talking the things instead of doing.

I might upload these pics again in the near future to maybe hear your honest opinio and objective suggestion on what sould i do in my face - i appreciate some peoples here opinios more than i appreciate doctors.

Thanks GJ

LeFort 3000

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2021, 06:24:06 PM »
Do you remember my pictures ? or just saying from reading above ?

Thank you much.

You think maybe i should leave the jaw surgery option (i also dont think i can have the mental strength to go jaw surgery even though im convinced thats whay caused my problems) .... the implants..i wish i can find someone in my country to do it and will have the stregth to go.  Anychance you know a good face implants doctor in europe ? i don;'t think i can go there - but maybe try
I remember the pics. Your looks decreased so heavily, its really sad case. Like others said, you may have some illness, maybe even bone cancer or something like that. This s**t cant be normal.
But if you got this all checked out, again, focus on getting jaw implants. No jaw surgery, it wont give you enough volume increase. Except you have the money. Also stop dwelling in the past and focus only whats ahead of you. It will be a tought task, you cant waste your time thinking about what happened decades ago

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2021, 12:42:53 PM »
I remember the pics. Your looks decreased so heavily, its really sad case. Like others said, you may have some illness, maybe even bone cancer or something like that. This s**t cant be normal.
But if you got this all checked out, again, focus on getting jaw implants. No jaw surgery, it wont give you enough volume increase. Except you have the money. Also stop dwelling in the past and focus only whats ahead of you. It will be a tought task, you cant waste your time thinking about what happened decades ago

Dude,
It's been a while i didnt get into this forum in monthes ... i really appreciate your answer - you are very cool. The honesty - (yes - i hate people bulls**tting me - no "it's just aging etc". Period . - i know my look changed drasticly - more than aging should do .
You were also kind on your advice to stop compare to what i looked like .
I will say , the most honest - i've devesrated - i can not accept my look - it's not gonna be. I'm dealing with EXTREMe chronic facial pain (which also a problem to do any surgery like that . The pain does NOT come from misalignment of the jaw-  it's other pain )... and i don't see a point of living like that (not gonna hurt myself - but just i know like this i will not have any joy of life - real joy - ever .  Yes - my look is super important to me - especially when i did look very unique and nice to the eyes. I could handle aging gracefully - but cant handle my face colapsing at age of 45 .. my hair .
i can not .. .i look at mirror every day i can not look - i can not stand it like this .
I also wish i knew EXACTLY what i needed to do - my face are so small in proportions that and implant i fear will make them more puffy.. in my country docotrs so conservative and none really have delicate eyes .. for small beauty.. that the slight change can be so huge on face ... i need more vertical length.. but my bite it took years to fix so teetch wont hurt.. changing again the bite will be terrible .. i want to punch myself...i want to .. .it's unbareable i could handle all my other problems in life and there are so many - much more if i would loved my self - but not compramise and say - well  i'm ugly.. i'll dont go to the market to order food and order food just online.. wont go out to through the garbadge just on night - that's no way of living. By the way - was on tons of pshcuatric meds for my depression - there is no single depression pill that will make my look in the mirror toleratble to me - it's a REAL issue - not mental that i need to just realx .. i can sedate myself with meds.. but the objective truth will stay.. and other people that will look at me - always will see weird looking .. not nice to look at face.
I wish i'll get the strength and courage to know what to do , find a real doctor that can really understand and say "I know what to do" and do it .

Post bimax

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2021, 05:33:29 PM »
I know your issues started before extractions, but 5 extractions no doubt have contributed to the resorption you’ve experienced. I know you’re in Europe, but Gunson in the US is always worth a consult.

tie

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Re: Cant bare to see my face... will never be happy
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2021, 06:51:01 AM »
I know your issues started before extractions, but 5 extractions no doubt have contributed to the resorption you’ve experienced. I know you’re in Europe, but Gunson in the US is always worth a consult.

Thanks dude, Im glad to see you remember me -  and i'm so grateful this is one of the few forums i dont have to hear all these lies-sweet-talk of " I don't see a diffrerece between you pictures .. you should just smile more " stupid stuff .
Yeah - i don't see myself going to the US - damn i will admit i dont know if i'll even do brave steps in my country of near my house .. i dont know why i am not a "DOER" .. it's like it's in my DNA. Yes - i have objective issues why no to operate my self - tons of healthy issues - but i will admit - i'll proboaly sit on the fence even if i was 100% healthy. But that's also that i didnt find any confident surgeon that tell me : "OHHH - say no more - i can totally see what bothering you - i can see the awful change you've been and i know how to and what to - fix it" have'nt met such with real auestetic eye. And of course - even in the auestetic field - i'm saying to myself - come on - jaw surgery is extreme (even though i feel its the right thing to do in terms of putting the structure back) - but even in auestetic.. because i've lost bone - my face in small and puffy - putting more implants on cheek to contour them or jaw - will make my face just more puffy... so i'm totally need a surgeron that can visulaize the outcome - and plus - i have the ideas on implants also :/ Leaves me not much choice . The famouse "sitting on the fence " :/
Anyway - glad to see your comment, and that you remembered me  , and i must say there are several names in this forum that if i could oppupy them as my surgeons or at least bring them with me to a surgeon to tell him exactly the auestetic eye i need - i would be more calm. People here have 100 times better auestehic eye and technical understanding that any doctors i've seen .  And hats off for Kavan