Author Topic: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out  (Read 16262 times)

RedLips

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I'm scheduling my surgery for July 2017. The thing is that I'm really scared. It's a big surgery, and I'm worried that it'll either be botched or that it won't achieve the results I'm looking for. I'm mainly concerned about my long midface.

I've been told that there's nothing wrong with how I look, but low ratings on my appearance on Reddit AND a guy who found me repulsive AND guys who rejected me after seeing my face more clearly AND the few friends/guys I dated who told me my face is "cute, though not beautiful" to make me feel better tell me otherwise. When I posted photos to Reddit, though, I had mostly edited the face length already.

So is it not just that? Is it my long philtrum? Are my eyes too close together? Is my nose too bumpy? Are my eyebrows too weird? I'm trying hard to fix things.

Sometimes I feel confident about my looks, especially after everything I've already done to improve them as best I can. I do get hit on a lot in the street (usually when I'm wearing sunglasses, though I feel like I wouldn't get as much attention if people could see my eyes.)

Sometimes I take what I consider decent pictures. Here's one after getting cheek fillers, chin fillers, chin botox, lip fillers, eyelash extensions, eyebrow shaping and dyeing, blond hair dyeing, hair extensions, a good filter, and slight editing: http://i.imgur.com/IlmagWE.jpg

And other days (with the SAME makeup and same changes) I look hideous like this: http://i.imgur.com/7q1mTTi.jpg

And I don't get it. Specific parts of my face are decent. It's just the composite that is unattractive. See?

Eyes (decent): http://i.imgur.com/Xe0nTZr.jpg
Lower half (uneven, but decent): http://i.imgur.com/SVLQair.jpg

So am I doomed? Is there anything I can do in addition to jaw surgery? Do I just accept that I'm not going to be able to fix this? After all, it's downhill from here. I'm going to be 25 soon, and I've already passed the prime of standard female attractiveness anyway.

marcus3415

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2016, 06:58:41 AM »
Couldn't even manage to read this entire post but one thing I'm certain is that you should not go into surgery expecting strictly aesthetic outcomes. It can only lead to some disappointment. Also if you have BDD you should ameliorate the issue with a psychologist before surgery because staring at yourself in the mirror definitely becomes more habitual after major surgery

thinkingme

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2016, 07:29:32 AM »
i will be %100 honest at this post. You were cute when you post old photos but at last photo u call ''hideous'' is bad.I think its cuz of hair. And u go jaw surgery for what? Im just checking ur jaw cant see anything bad. You are normal and mayve above avarage but you want to be have perfect midface i understand.I cant tell a surgery can worsen or give better results.

RedLips

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2016, 08:12:21 AM »
i will be %100 honest at this post. You were cute when you post old photos but at last photo u call ''hideous'' is bad.I think its cuz of hair. And u go jaw surgery for what? Im just checking ur jaw cant see anything bad. You are normal and mayve above avarage but you want to be have perfect midface i understand.I cant tell a surgery can worsen or give better results.

So how to I fix it? What happened? What can I fix?

RedLips

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2016, 08:37:09 AM »
i will be %100 honest at this post. You were cute when you post old photos but at last photo u call ''hideous'' is bad.I think its cuz of hair. And u go jaw surgery for what? Im just checking ur jaw cant see anything bad. You are normal and mayve above avarage but you want to be have perfect midface i understand.I cant tell a surgery can worsen or give better results.

I want to do the surgery to fix my midface length. But the goal is to look pretty/above average. I don't know how to achieve that result.

marcus3415

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2016, 08:38:35 AM »
Try cheek implants, fillers.

Just know that level of attractiveness is based off personality too! Read some books on it, it helps a lot. Try to improve yourself as you are.

What is the surgical plan?

RedLips

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2016, 08:47:49 AM »
Try cheek implants, fillers.

Just know that level of attractiveness is based off personality too! Read some books on it, it helps a lot. Try to improve yourself as you are.

What is the surgical plan?

I already did cheek implants. Should I do more?

I do have a pretty good personality. I feel like I'm mostly just lacking in looks. I just want my face to look pretty. I don't know why it's so bad.

Right now the plan is to do a double jaw surgery summer 2017

marcus3415

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2016, 02:06:11 PM »
Hmm well based on my perspective you are surely attractive. My unbiased opinion as a quite good looking young 20s male.

Your occlusion seems fine--how would jaw surgery help?

RedLips

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2016, 04:38:23 AM »
Hmm well based on my perspective you are surely attractive. My unbiased opinion as a quite good looking young 20s male.

Your occlusion seems fine--how would jaw surgery help?

Thank you. I had xrays and a projection done at a really good jaw surgeon's office, and honestly the "before and after" pictures looked almost the same. However, I do want to shorten the midface because that's always been my problem area. I have a bit of an overbite, but it's not extremely pronounced. For me, it's just that I hate my midface length and philtrum.

Sometimes I look decent in pictures (although, granted, this one has a filter and that helps): http://i.imgur.com/IlmagWE.jpg

And sometimes I look awful like this: http://i.imgur.com/j3RhAOl.jpg?1

So what gives? I went the cheek/chin/lip fillers route and I also got hair and eyelash extensions. I also got my eyebrows done professionally. So what's wrong and how can I fix it?

thinkingme

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2016, 05:48:53 AM »
Thank you. I had xrays and a projection done at a really good jaw surgeon's office, and honestly the "before and after" pictures looked almost the same. However, I do want to shorten the midface because that's always been my problem area. I have a bit of an overbite, but it's not extremely pronounced. For me, it's just that I hate my midface length and philtrum.

Sometimes I look decent in pictures (although, granted, this one has a filter and that helps): http://i.imgur.com/IlmagWE.jpg

And sometimes I look awful like this: http://i.imgur.com/j3RhAOl.jpg?1

So what gives? I went the cheek/chin/lip fillers route and I also got hair and eyelash extensions. I also got my eyebrows done professionally. So what's wrong and how can I fix it?

I think dye ur hair blond not orange. Live ur life u have no deformities. Everything good on your jaw. Your mid face is not bad but you focus it somuch. Tbh u  are not model looking but u are already good and pretty. And jaw surgery fix jaw deformities which u have no.

RedLips

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2016, 06:28:07 AM »
I think dye ur hair blond not orange. Live ur life u have no deformities. Everything good on your jaw. Your mid face is not bad but you focus it somuch. Tbh u  are not model looking but u are already good and pretty. And jaw surgery fix jaw deformities which u have no.

I know I'm not model-looking, but I'd like to get as close as I possibly can. What can I do to fix my face? Would the jaw surgery help? I'd like to be pretty.

marcus3415

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2016, 08:31:52 AM »
Look redlips, jaw surgery is no joke. I'd say about 50% of us on this forum (including myself) have already had it.

It was most certainly not a pleasant experience and i'm cringing right now thinking about the recovery.

What thinking me said is quite right, maybe try a different hair color. Learn where to focus your eyes and posture in photos.

You already have cheek implants and it is possible those get moved around with all the swelling in surgery.

You're doing what I did with my chin after my genioplasty (i still do it sometimes, admittedly)--don't focus on just one section of the face (for me it was the chin) Mine came out a bit strong, but honestly whatever i'm over it.

You seem to have had your fair portion of plastics completed, and psychologically it is addictive! Watch out for this habit. Your face is your face, it is not meant to be manipulated when not needed to. An overbite is a generally attractive feature, so there's that.

april

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2016, 08:37:40 AM »
I think you are pretty already, and I feel strange giving advice to someone who is miles ahead of me. But I agree with the hair color - it is looking brassy and orange in those other pics. I think like you've mentioned before it makes you look pale / doesn't suit your skin tone. If you look at the pics that you do like, your hair looks more toned down and blonde in those.

But I also think you look REALLY good as a brunette.

So either go blonder (with a toner in too), or go back to darker.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your features, sorry it's probably not what you want to hear.

LyraM45

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2016, 10:18:19 AM »
I'll echo what a few others have said-- jaw surgery is no joke, and primarily it is not for aesthetics.  There was a section in my surgeons consent forms that explicitly explain how soft tissue changes can not be predicted.  In my experience going through this myself (twice!) and helping other patients out through it the last 3 years, there are times when not only do you not get much change in the aesthetics and soft tissue, but you may end up not liking the changes at all, especially the changes with the nose.

This is an incredibly risky and difficult procedure.  When it goes badly, you risk being in a really bad place if you were doing this only for aesthetics.  My opinion is that this surgery get reserved for only the most severe of cases.  Cases where you are in so much pain, can't function, and have reached rock bottom and have nothing to lose by gambling on this surgery and it's associated risks.  My advice to patients who are doing this for mostly aesthetics is to learn to love yourself first.  Even if you go through with this.  You need to be in a good place before proceeding, because if you are not, then that will continue even after the physical you is changed.

I think you are beautiful, but I know we are each our own worst critics and at the end of the day it matters how you feel. 

thinkingme

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Re: Jaw surgery is a big decision, and I'm scared I'll chicken out
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2016, 10:37:38 AM »
I'll echo what a few others have said-- jaw surgery is no joke, and primarily it is not for aesthetics.  There was a section in my surgeons consent forms that explicitly explain how soft tissue changes can not be predicted.  In my experience going through this myself (twice!) and helping other patients out through it the last 3 years, there are times when not only do you not get much change in the aesthetics and soft tissue, but you may end up not liking the changes at all, especially the changes with the nose.

This is an incredibly risky and difficult procedure.  When it goes badly, you risk being in a really bad place if you were doing this only for aesthetics.  My opinion is that this surgery get reserved for only the most severe of cases.  Cases where you are in so much pain, can't function, and have reached rock bottom and have nothing to lose by gambling on this surgery and it's associated risks.  My advice to patients who are doing this for mostly aesthetics is to learn to love yourself first.  Even if you go through with this.  You need to be in a good place before proceeding, because if you are not, then that will continue even after the physical you is changed.

I think you are beautiful, but I know we are each our own worst critics and at the end of the day it matters how you feel.
you are right. I just talked with a ortho total 2 hour or more. She said me ur soft tissue is really thick and she cant guess what happen after jaw surgery. And she recommended extract 4 premolar and make ur lips back. And she recommended to talk with a skillfull surgeon who can predict soft tissue. http://imgim.com/img_20151129_180115.jpg i think i need surgery %100 mailing gunson and some doctors %90of them agree i need surgery braces and extractions(mb). But there is risk i can get very bad result made me make slow and sure moves. U have already has good balance.