How to recover from jaw surgery regret/disappointment

[FCF88]

Hi guys!

I am new to this forum, really glad it exists!
So...I had my double jaw surgery 5 months ago, main issue is I wanted my lower jaw setback and my upper jaw advanced.. (many surgeons adviced me I needed this in the past).
Eventually I decided to go for a surgeon who gave me a different diagnosis and a different surgery method (I was not 100% sure to trust at that point but he looked soooo confident and sure of his skills that eventually he convinced me). I got both upper and lower jaw advanced, and now I am really not liking the aesthetic results....like not at all.

Anyway, I am not going too much into it now, I maybe will explain this better later on and ask for opinions when I feel it.
I would like to know how people in general are coping with depressive feelings/regrets and disappointment after jaw surgeries. What is done is done, now I just want to find a way to smile again at life and be positive again!

I have always been a positive person in life but now I really don't know how to come out of this, as I feel this is big s**t. I am doing therapy with a psycologist...but I think it would be nice to get more feedbacks from people who are going through the same phase..to know how you guys are coping with it (like sport, travel, family support...etc...anything.)

I just cannot take my mind out of it now and I need to quickly get a job and manage everything in life, instead of spending my days being desperate about this.

I hope we can share some positivity around even though I have seen many of us are going through very difficult time.
I kind of think we got into this situation because of miscommunication from our surgeons...or we were naive or did no ask for too many details and trusted surgeons in a blind way. I am sure that when surgeons are CLEAR about results expectactions those things do not happen...or they have very low chances to happen for some risks that could not be prevented...

Anyway, the rant is over!

Thank you for listening and for any suggestion x

[GJ]

Well, it sounds like you know what you need to do, and now it's just about acting on that knowledge. If you are not considering revision, then you must do everything in these early days (of regret) to distract yourself. Stay busy all day. Go outside, work on a project, start a new hobby you always wanted and indulge in that, get that job you mention and stay busy with that. Try to gain a bigger perspective (i.e. the world and universe are amazing places and you're lucky enough to experience it, etc).

What does your therapist say? Do they think you have a legit complaint? That would be valuable to know.

[FCF88]

Hi!

Thank you for your message and suggestion. Yea I know what I should do but it's very hard to put it into practice!!

My therapist supports me and she said we eventually need to be happy with ourselves, no matter what other people tell us. So, if a revision is possible and I can achieve what I was looking for I will consider it for sure.
I have noticed this surgery actually worsened the things I did not like about my face and now I feel very unconfortable for example taking the mask off when I am with people, taking pictures, being on videocalls...it makes me cry all the time, so I am not sure I can get out of it only with therapy. Additionally, I feel my bite is very far away from me...and it´s not confortable to eat, I feel like I need to put efforts to reach for food and bite it (the way I eat makes me think about horses eating...don´t know if this makes sense?!

I will see some surgeon in my original country, Italy, as I think it will be easier to explain my issue in my own language. I also noticed that italian surgeons are very careful about the aesthetic part and they normally operate III class with lower jaw setback and upper jaw advancement. From what I see this method really makes the face more delicate and feminine for a woman, especially if one has a big/long lower jaw and strong chin originally.

Even if I go with a revision I will need to wait at least 3 years cos I need to repay my loan obtained for the first surgery and then ask for another one (I am living my life for paying surgeries basically). However, I am not scared of money and pain.

The only thing I am really afraid of is getting screwed a second time, having poor results again and get into risks for my bones and health...I really don´t know if it is possible to put back both jaws, meaning backward and also reducing the vertical lenght of my face. Doing the exact opposite thing that the first surgeon did to my face.

Anyway, IF SOMEONE KNOWS A GOOD SURGEON IN ITALY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!;)

How was it with your surgery? Have you liked the results?

[GJ]

Dr. Raffaini has a pretty good reputation, I believe, and he's in Italy. People on this forum have used him, so you can use the search and read those. Sandro Pelo might be worth a consult. I hear he is very conservative and old school.

[FCF88]

Perfect, I just wrote and email to Pelo.
I really would like someone who is nice and human, after my first traumatising experience...

Thanks for the suggestions x

[PloskoPlus]

If your bite is bad, that's worth a revision in itself.

[jawgraphy]

Hi guys!

I am new to this forum, really glad it exists!
So...I had my double jaw surgery 5 months ago, main issue is I wanted my lower jaw setback and my upper jaw advanced.. (many surgeons adviced me I needed this in the past).
Eventually I decided to go for a surgeon who gave me a different diagnosis and a different surgery method (I was not 100% sure to trust at that point but he looked soooo confident and sure of his skills that eventually he convinced me). I got both upper and lower jaw advanced, and now I am really not liking the aesthetic results....like not at all.

Anyway, I am not going too much into it now, I maybe will explain this better later on and ask for opinions when I feel it.
I would like to know how people in general are coping with depressive feelings/regrets and disappointment after jaw surgeries. What is done is done, now I just want to find a way to smile again at life and be positive again!

I have always been a positive person in life but now I really don't know how to come out of this, as I feel this is big s**t. I am doing therapy with a psycologist...but I think it would be nice to get more feedbacks from people who are going through the same phase..to know how you guys are coping with it (like sport, travel, family support...etc...anything.)

I just cannot take my mind out of it now and I need to quickly get a job and manage everything in life, instead of spending my days being desperate about this.

I hope we can share some positivity around even though I have seen many of us are going through very difficult time.
I kind of think we got into this situation because of miscommunication from our surgeons...or we were naive or did no ask for too many details and trusted surgeons in a blind way. I am sure that when surgeons are CLEAR about results expectactions those things do not happen...or they have very low chances to happen for some risks that could not be prevented...

Anyway, the rant is over!

Thank you for listening and for any suggestion x

Can I ask who did your surgery and why you dont like the result?