Telling people about jaw surgery?

[somethingsomething]

Should you tell people about your jaw surgery? If so, how do you broach the subject? I don't mind telling family and friends, but what about acquaintances or colleagues?

I'm currently trying make a career change. I'm enrolled in a continuing education program for career changers, and will have to explain why I'm missing a week or two of events. I don't want to get into the details of the surgery with the people in my program because I want to keep our conversations professional, but at the same time, I don't want any potential employers misunderstanding and thinking I'm just getting jaw surgery for cosmetic purposes. Should I not mention anything at all? Our main training would have ended by my surgery date, so I could technically say I'm traveling.

Also, how would the healing look like at the 2 week mark for double jaw surgery? We have an event where we meet local employers 2 weeks after my surgery date. How swollen would I be then? Would I be able to speak clearly? I'm assuming I wouldn't be able to eat anything at that stage still. Would other people also find it weird if they don't see me eating any solid food for 5 weeks or so? And finally, how much would the weight loss be by the 2-3 week mark? I'm currently a bit lanky and bony looking, so I don't want to look unhealthy or concerning (especially on top of the not eating part).

I realize I'm probably worrying about nothing, but I need a job soon and a career change in this job market would mean a lot to me.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

[somethingsomething]

Thanks. I do have sleep apnea, which I could mention. Just wondering, is there any reason in particular that would make jaw surgery hard to hide from people (after the initial two weeks)?

I tried telling a few friends about my planned surgery, but they didn't quite understand and kept reassuring me that I "look fine", and that surgery was unnecessary. It was kind of frustrating, so I'm not prepared to deal with the questioning on a larger scale.

[nrelax11]

Thanks. I do have sleep apnea, which I could mention. Just wondering, is there any reason in particular that would make jaw surgery hard to hide from people (after the initial two weeks)?

I tried telling a few friends about my planned surgery, but they didn't quite understand and kept reassuring me that I "look fine", and that surgery was unnecessary. It was kind of frustrating, so I'm not prepared to deal with the questioning on a larger scale.

Yea most of my friends didnt understand why I was having surgery either, but after I explained why, they agreed I should have it.

[PloskoPlus]

Yea most of my friends didnt understand why I was having surgery either, but after I explained why, they agreed I should have it.

Familiarity breeds contempt attraction.

[Optimistic]

Thanks. I do have sleep apnea, which I could mention. Just wondering, is there any reason in particular that would make jaw surgery hard to hide from people (after the initial two weeks)?

I tried telling a few friends about my planned surgery, but they didn't quite understand and kept reassuring me that I "look fine", and that surgery was unnecessary. It was kind of frustrating, so I'm not prepared to deal with the questioning on a larger scale.

Your OP and this are very confusing to me.

- Nobody knows about jaw surgery
- Even if they do it's only ever understood as a functional procedure
- 99% of maxfac surgeons operate for functional reasons only
- Nobody would ever think someone got jaw surgery for looks
- Why even EXPLAIN the looks aspect when the operation is primarily FUNCTIONAL? Just tell them you have a bite issue that needs to be fixed  with jaw surgery. If you really want you can casually add that you may look slightly different, however nobody is going to notice the changes. The average person has no ability to analyse aesthetics. They may think you look a bit different but even then probably not.

I just don't get it. Are you going around being like "Hey, I'm getting this operation to move my jaw forward and it's going to look like this *juts jaw out*. Oh yeah, and it will make my bite better" 

Also your paranoia about looking weird because you aren't eating food was a bit strange to me too ? I don't think people notice or care. And I say this as someone who has been to many high-end functions. I think you just need to chill out a bit and not worry so much. Believe me, people aren't as critical or aware as you're giving them credit for.

Finally, yes two weeks is likely too short a time period. I imagine you'll have swelling, be banded up, unable to eat, and have plenty of tenderness.

Good luck though! 

[nrelax11]

Familiarity breeds contempt attraction.

Are you basically suggesting that the only reason they agreed after was because I pointed out my flaws? That theyre just so use to my face that they didnt notice anything off?  Jus want to make sure I get that lol.

[PloskoPlus]

Are you basically suggesting that the only reason they agreed after was because I pointed by out my flaws? That theyre just so use to my face that they didnt notice anything off?  Jus want to make sure I get that lol.

Pretty much.  More formally

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propinquity

Also, people perceive the gestalt, rather than the details of your face.  Someone you've not seen in a while will think that you "just look better",  but won't be able to say why.  I talked to a girl who had impaction, and everyone thought she looked better because she had a nose job.

[LoveofScotch]

I completely hear you on your career being crazy important, and not wanting to do anything that may derail your plan. I just can't imagine anyone is going to really care, though (from that perspective). You know how you have a plan for your career? I can almost guarantee they have a plan for themselves, too. This means they are making moves to execute their needs, and have absolutely zero s**ts to give about anyone else. In this circumstance, this is a good thing!

Yes, if you are bony and lanky people may stare and/or comment (particularly if you're female). Who cares? I say this as a tall, lean women. Decide you have zero s**ts to give about what strangers have to say about your body, and just concentrate on your career. It's all good.

I would just be patient with people, and explain all this in as few words as possible. Say you have bite issues, or pain issues, or jaw issues, or something like that. Most people are good, and will do what they can to help.

The event you have at the 2 week mark, with employers, may be pushing it a bit...particularly, if it's loud and you're attempting to talk amongst/over others.

Cheers!

[somethingsomething]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I know I'm worrying too much about a minor issue. I guess this isn't something I can hide.

As a very scrawny/skinny female, I get a lot of unsolicited comments about my appearance and eating habits. I don't particularly care what people think. I just don't want potential employers wondering if I have an eating disorder.

Examples: "Oh, you're so skinny!" "Wow, you eat so much for your size!" In a concerned tone: "Is that all you're eating?" If I ever pass on dessert: "You know you're not fat, right?" "You look like you've lost weight." "You look like you've gained weight--but in a good way--now you finally look healthy---not that you didn't look healthy before..."

Also: "You look tired." "You look different." "Are you okay? Really, are you??"

I never know how to respond. I suppose telling people beforehand will prevent curiosity and potential questions later on.