Author Topic: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.  (Read 25002 times)

tim06

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #45 on: March 26, 2018, 04:51:53 AM »
Looks are everything, if you don't get a girl you are not good looking enough.

No need to cope with bulls**t (oh I am too shy..)

Jilkster

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #46 on: March 26, 2018, 05:31:09 AM »
Looks are everything, if you don't get a girl you are not good looking enough.

No need to cope with bulls**t (oh I am too shy..)

I'd say that's not accurate. They are, however, more important than the dominant cultural narrative suggests, in the western world.

Many other qualities are attractive, but they are often also not qualities that the dominant narrative claims are the important ones.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #47 on: March 26, 2018, 02:17:14 PM »
Looks are everything, if you don't get a girl you are not good looking enough.

No need to cope with bulls**t (oh I am too shy..)

+1

And what people don't accept that when women end up dating guys in their 30s while ignoring them earlier, they're settling for a man who they know won't cheat etc because he can't and that they can control.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #48 on: March 26, 2018, 02:19:16 PM »
I'd say that's not accurate. They are, however, more important than the dominant cultural narrative suggests, in the western world.

Many other qualities are attractive, but they are often also not qualities that the dominant narrative claims are the important ones.

No other qualities are attractive aside from being actually physically attractive.

If money and other things are a reason why a girl is marrying you, its not for you.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #49 on: March 26, 2018, 02:26:18 PM »
Also you seem to be knowledgeable about future technologies. What will be the difference in craniofacial procedures when I am 32 vs now at 22.

Jilkster

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #50 on: March 26, 2018, 03:31:26 PM »
No other qualities are attractive aside from being actually physically attractive.

If money and other things are a reason why a girl is marrying you, its not for you.

No, various behavioral traits are attractive to women. Dominance, emotional stability, wittiness. These things actually really matter in practice. Let me tell you that after extensive experience with women, various behavioral patterns as a result of shifts in health and various looks levels. These behavioral traits can't compensate if looks are below a certain level, but you can win from a better looking dude as a result of them, if you are both above the threshold.

tim06

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #51 on: March 26, 2018, 03:50:14 PM »
The 3 dimensions of importance when it comes to love/sex:
1. Looks
2. Behaviour
3. Opportunity

That Looks are much more important is proofed by various scientific studies and widely accepted.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #52 on: March 26, 2018, 05:19:42 PM »
No, various behavioral traits are attractive to women. Dominance, emotional stability, wittiness. These things actually really matter in practice. Let me tell you that after extensive experience with women, various behavioral patterns as a result of shifts in health and various looks levels. These behavioral traits can't compensate if looks are below a certain level, but you can win from a better looking dude as a result of them, if you are both above the threshold.

A lot of what you say and do is just interpreted differently in the sexual marketplace. When a man or woman is good looking, even the smallest things that they say will invoke a person of the opposite sex to giggle and automatically positively interpret the statements.

I guess hitting a threshold matters. And for what its worth, I don't.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #53 on: March 26, 2018, 05:20:30 PM »
The 3 dimensions of importance when it comes to love/sex:
1. Looks
2. Behaviour
3. Opportunity

That Looks are much more important is proofed by various scientific studies and widely accepted.

Hell even looks affect your behavior and how you date along with opportunity. You can be confident and casual about asking a girl out when you know she will actually have positive signals back.

ditterbo

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #54 on: March 26, 2018, 06:08:29 PM »
I did have a date that went into "ongoing", but my poor mental health (from looks and other reasons early in life) has left me pretty dateless in general, technically by my own doing (not really pursuing matches, etc.). But you don't need to be swimming in matches, going on dozens of dates a month. I've had many respond to my basic messages, and even a small few to message me first. One can still settle on getting 1-4 dates a month over nothing, and even date close to or within your standard (from my xp). Thanks to the apps, you find the few in the haystack that aren't that bad looking at all and are also superficially interested in you. Yes this could be considered 'coping' while you wait for this supposed bright future. But that's not how you help your mental health. An important aspect of mental health is acceptance and learning how to work with what you have. I actually thought my matching situation wasn't quite so garbage, until you pointed out the odds I'm working with. But you take what you can get (within your tolerance thresholds), knowing many people can't even date at all. Functional psychology.

Lol I don't think all engineers are boned, but unfortunately yes they may have it harder if their personality and looks aren't a glaring bright spot.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 06:20:07 PM by ditterbo »

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #55 on: March 26, 2018, 06:48:33 PM »
I did have a date that went into "ongoing", but my poor mental health (from looks and other reasons early in life) has left me pretty dateless in general, technically by my own doing (not really pursuing matches, etc.). But you don't need to be swimming in matches, going on dozens of dates a month. I've had many respond to my basic messages, and even a small few to message me first. One can still settle on getting 1-4 dates a month over nothing, and even date close to or within your standard (from my xp). Thanks to the apps, you find the few in the haystack that aren't that bad looking at all and are also superficially interested in you. Yes this could be considered 'coping' while you wait for this supposed bright future. But that's not how you help your mental health. An important aspect of mental health is acceptance and learning how to work with what you have. I actually thought my matching situation wasn't quite so garbage, until you pointed out the odds I'm working with. But you take what you can get (within your tolerance thresholds), knowing many people can't even date at all. Functional psychology.

Lol I don't think all engineers are boned, but unfortunately yes they may have it harder if their personality and looks aren't a glaring bright spot.

You got to be kidding me...

Only if you are good looking, you get any matches. If you look bad, you can swipe through entire stacks of people and get nothing.

ditterbo

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #56 on: March 26, 2018, 07:12:35 PM »
No, I'm not. Patience is a virtue, but being short and ethnic I agree could make the odds even worse than my 1 in 10,000 or whatever.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #57 on: March 26, 2018, 07:46:51 PM »
No, I'm not. Patience is a virtue, but being short and ethnic I agree could make the odds even worse than my 1 in 10,000 or whatever.

Yes and one would be dead eventually from old age before something actually works out.

kavan

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #58 on: March 27, 2018, 12:11:14 PM »
Come on dude. Piss or get off the pot. There could be something about your face that could be fixed with some maxfax surgery. Maybe not entirely but enough to have a framework close enough to the norm to plaster some plastic over it to mitigate some of your appearance problems.

Unless you post a photo where there's a chance you could get feedback that lead to some things to do to improve, there's no chance that you will ever know if you have the chance of improving via surgery. 

By not taking the chance of posting your photos to find out what your chances are, you're CHOOSING to remain forever hopeless.

Also, if you're short, ethnic AND homely, you DON'T want to go on something like Tinder or any other dating app where you can assume the women are going to be wanting good looking guys.

Instead, put in an ad somewhere saying: 'Short, ethnic, homely ______ (fill in blank with your profession or study major if a student) looking for fun.'

I know a guy who put in a personal ad in the 'alternative lifestyle' section saying: 'FAT, BALD lawyer looking for fun.'  He got a LOT of responses from really attractive women who had a fetish for fat, bald lawyers.
Please. No PMs for private advice. Board issues only.

ForeverAloneDude

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Re: Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.
« Reply #59 on: March 27, 2018, 10:50:54 PM »
Come on dude. Piss or get off the pot. There could be something about your face that could be fixed with some maxfax surgery. Maybe not entirely but enough to have a framework close enough to the norm to plaster some plastic over it to mitigate some of your appearance problems.

Unless you post a photo where there's a chance you could get feedback that lead to some things to do to improve, there's no chance that you will ever know if you have the chance of improving via surgery. 

By not taking the chance of posting your photos to find out what your chances are, you're CHOOSING to remain forever hopeless.

Also, if you're short, ethnic AND homely, you DON'T want to go on something like Tinder or any other dating app where you can assume the women are going to be wanting good looking guys.

Instead, put in an ad somewhere saying: 'Short, ethnic, homely ______ (fill in blank with your profession or study major if a student) looking for fun.'

I know a guy who put in a personal ad in the 'alternative lifestyle' section saying: 'FAT, BALD lawyer looking for fun.'  He got a LOT of responses from really attractive women who had a fetish for fat, bald lawyers.

Lol chasing people with fetishes haha.

But yeah I got the message.