Future is bright, do what you can in the meantime.

[ForeverAloneDude]

What's your personality like now? Are you annoying? Socially awkward?

I'm torn between telling you to snap the f**k out of it because time IS short, and before you know it you actually will be 30 - to also knowing how hard it is to change your mindset when everything around you seems to reinforce your negative feelings. I felt the same way as you in my mid-20's and now I'm in my 30's alone AND female (HELLO TIMECLOCK). It's been a self-fulfilling prophecy really because I don't think I'm worth much, so I went through years where I didn't even bother (who would like me, etc). The way I feel about myself creates a filter and I see everything through it, and I've become so aware of it that I'm awkward and guarded as a result. I've blamed my looks, but at the end of the day I can transform myself (makeup, hair extensions, eyelash extensions, tan, heels etc) and look good - but underneath it all I'm still me, and that seems to be the problem.

I'm fine personality wise. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Eh I think the mythical drop in attractiveness when a woman hits her 30s if basically just a myth. Yes, things like wrinkles etc and breaking down of bone happens, but its exaggerated by unattractive men who want to make themselves feel better. (since you mentioned timeclock)

You said you're in your 30s and alone. Did you have some success with at least going on dates etc?

Yeah I wish men could wear makeup haha.

[PloskoPlus]

I'm fine personality wise. Nothing out of the ordinary.

If you don't have a legitimate dentofacial deformity, don't waste your time researching jaw surgery and get into medical school.  Medicine is not hard at all.  In fact, most of it is borderline quackery.  All you need is stamina and a good memory.  Intelligence is optional.

[PloskoPlus]

What's your personality like now? Are you annoying? Socially awkward?

I'm torn between telling you to snap the f**k out of it because time IS short, and before you know it you actually will be 30 - to also knowing how hard it is to change your mindset when everything around you seems to reinforce your negative feelings. I felt the same way as you in my mid-20's and now I'm in my 30's alone AND female (HELLO TIMECLOCK). It's been a self-fulfilling prophecy really because I don't think I'm worth much, so I went through years where I didn't even bother (who would like me, etc). The way I feel about myself creates a filter and I see everything through it, and I've become so aware of it that I'm awkward and guarded as a result. I've blamed my looks, but at the end of the day I can transform myself (makeup, hair extensions, eyelash extensions, tan, heels etc) and look good - but underneath it all I'm still me, and that seems to be the problem.

It's all about supply and demand.  Join a club where men outnumber women.  One woman I know found her husband in a mountaineering club.  AFAIR, she was the only woman in that club... and now that I recollect I think she was a class II deep bite, borderline short face syndrome.

[kavan]

If you don't have a legitimate dentofacial deformity, don't waste your time researching jaw surgery and get into medical school.  Medicine is not hard at all.  In fact, most of it is borderline quackery.  All you need is stamina and a good memory.  Intelligence is optional.

You forgot the other requirements for getting into med school such as having a pushy mother saying: 'be a doctor be a doctor and make money', sabotaging your classmates lab experiments, paying off janitors (who clean the offices at night) to acquire a copy of the midterm exams and sexual favors if you're a female. I don't know about all med schools but these were some of the extra requirements at MIT for getting into Harvard med.

[ForeverAloneDude]

If you don't have a legitimate dentofacial deformity, don't waste your time researching jaw surgery and get into medical school.  Medicine is not hard at all.  In fact, most of it is borderline quackery.  All you need is stamina and a good memory.  Intelligence is optional.

Isn't that what I was complaining about? The technology just isn't there. I'll always be sexually repulsive.

[SKV2]

rather than just wait for a singularity, id rather exhaust all options under the sun to get back my face and my life, and my speech if possible. max fac , implants, etc. i dont even see an issue with LL, i frequent a forum regarding that specifically and am p sure ill end up getting bifemoral LL aimed at 3-3.2 in, internal fixation. regarding genitalia, aside from things like traction devices and pmma, there is chem pe involving the injection of caverject and human grade relaxin. hell, a russian man i speak to tells me if im willing to give up endogenously produced erections, i can get some procedure done that basically guarantees 1 in gain in bpel, he spends 24/7 on a forum for genital surgery.

just identify all the issues u have or things u dont like and learn all u can about them and whats possible to augment them.



if we r talking about futuristic stuff at least id want to touch on whats possible in theory but not feasible at this time... implanting new growth plates, editing the androgen receptors in ur penile tissue, and possibly (havent read nearly enough about this) altering sclero levels , then just applying massive internal force plus using copious amounts of hgh and trenbolone along with some transdermal gel for the penis with androgens, such as dht gel.

[Lazlo]

rather than just wait for a singularity, id rather exhaust all options under the sun to get back my face and my life, and my speech if possible. max fac , implants, etc. i dont even see an issue with LL, i frequent a forum regarding that specifically and am p sure ill end up getting bifemoral LL aimed at 3-3.2 in, internal fixation. regarding genitalia, aside from things like traction devices and pmma, there is chem pe involving the injection of caverject and human grade relaxin. hell, a russian man i speak to tells me if im willing to give up endogenously produced erections, i can get some procedure done that basically guarantees 1 in gain in bpel, he spends 24/7 on a forum for genital surgery.

just identify all the issues u have or things u dont like and learn all u can about them and whats possible to augment them.



if we r talking about futuristic stuff at least id want to touch on whats possible in theory but not feasible at this time... implanting new growth plates, editing the androgen receptors in ur penile tissue, and possibly (havent read nearly enough about this) altering sclero levels , then just applying massive internal force plus using copious amounts of hgh and trenbolone along with some transdermal gel for the penis with androgens, such as dht gel.

i mean some of those last things sound interesting. i wonder if they'll be here within 10 years?

[Perlkrys]

My life revolves around my appearance since it is the main thing that is limiting me from getting a relationship and being happy. I'm not just unattractive as a teenager who is a late bloomer. My craniofacial structure is terrible. And I'm 5 foot 4 as a guy. I was never treated well by guys nor girls.

It wouldn't dominate my mind if I knew that at 30 I'd have great romantic/sexual relationships. Its the uncertainty that is painful and the fact that my youth is over. Honestly I feel like my life is over too. The true time where everyone has time and energy to have a wonderful free life in university is gone. I'll be in my 30s before I know it with no romantic experience and uglier than I already am. I'll live my life grinding my day out and going back and forth to work... alone. This isn't a fun life. Its torture. Literal torture. No matter how interesting the topic of discussion is.

You can't study things that interest you if you are hopeless and depressed. I go to circles with people in my situation, but most are just average looking average height guys who just don't try. Furthermore, hearing stories of people who are having healthy romantic/sex lives just make me want to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger since for me, getting a girl to be physically into me will never happen and I'll always miss out this key experience of life to be happy.

Seriously, getting a girl to go on a date with me is like going to freaking Mars for me. And that too, failure can happen afterwards since anything can screw it up. I'll always worry about the stability of my relationship because of my looks.

It may be a grass is greener on the other side thing with other people who have it economically worse than me, but even studies have shown that to make sure that people live well and live happy is to have a good friend circle and healthy romantic relationships. And even in economic hardships it allows people to live. It makes people work through that struggle of life.

I used to wonder why billionaires etc committed suicide when I was younger. I was too simplistic and money-centered historically. And I used to buy that nonsense fed to me that "your time will come and things will just happen."

How? 22 will be my supposed "peak" age of attractiveness. And I can't imagine how worse I'll look.

I know what you mean with finding girls who like nerdy guys and who nobody really likes. But they still have the prereq of wanting me to fit some standard. I fit nobody's standards. If there aren't facial standards, there will be standards for height standards, etc. It usually takes one thing to fit someone's physical standards for a person to be contempt. I got nothing.

And is it unreasonable for me to not want to date someone with kids? Why can't I enjoy the experience of carefree road trips with an SO etc having a lot of fun, etc. Kids will complicate things there. And at 22 I don't want kids of my own let alone someone else's kids especially when often I'll be the second priority in the relationship.

Being sexually attractive isn't work and effort. That's a myth. You either have the genetics to appeal to most, have some genetics to appeal to some people, or in the rare case appeal to basically nobody. And it sucks.

Sorry to revive this thread, but.. ForeverAloneDude, and I just give you a big hug? I'll tell you what, I've been considered a pretty lady (Ok, this is before surgery -- my current post-surgery face is keeping me humble, but it's brought me here!) and was sought after by many men in my teens, 20s, 30s. My most long-lasting relationship, however, was 18 years with a guy that wasn't necessarily considered traditionally "attractive" by whatever body and facial measurements people use. But he was THE HOTTEST thing to me because he was kind, caring, compassionate, creative, and put all his energy into making life feel like pure magic to me. I know for a fact that he, too, had some serious self esteem issues because of how he perceived himself, but f**k it. f**k aesthetic standards. You do you, and do it the best you can. Make your life pure magic and you'll be IRRESISTIBLE to even the hottest ladies.

We've since parted ways, but when I tell friends my physical "type" they're confused.. because it isn't anyone else's "type". But when you fall in love with someone I guarantee you they're going to love the way you look because it looks like YOU.

[Perlkrys]

If you don't have a legitimate dentofacial deformity, don't waste your time researching jaw surgery and get into medical school.  Medicine is not hard at all.  In fact, most of it is borderline quackery.  All you need is stamina and a good memory.  Intelligence is optional.

LOL
I think you nailed it.

[Perlkrys]

I'm interested in future technologies since its really the only thing actually ugly people can hope to have a normal romantic life. As I've said before, I'm not one of those trolls from certain forums who believe that anybody who isn't a model is inherently lesser or deluded to think that anybody who isn't a model won't have good, stable, happy relationships. Or one of those who can have normal romantic relationships but are unhappy that they can't "slay."

AI assistance along with quantum computing will be what we need. If we can automate understanding biology and structure of cells and their interactions with each other, of course we can have massive strides.

Of course I'm basing my inherent hopelessness off historical trends. And its not looking good to me, unfortunately.

Also, yes. I'm quite economically privileged compared to most even in first world countries. Not rich, but def from an upper middle class background. I have time left in absolute terms. But I don't have much time for youth, youthful relationships, etc. I'm socially disadvantaged. I had girls say "eww, ForeverAloneDude" back in elementary and middle school. I hope these technologies won't be cost prohibitive to everyone. But I also hope that they exist. Maybe what lazlo told me is right. I should work from 22 to 32 on making as much money as I can so money won't be a limiting factor.

No matter what, if I look good at 30 or 40, I still won't be able to live a good life of my teens and 20s. And that hurts. I'vve always maintained that youth is the most precious aspect of life. Even college can be relatively careless. Everyone is young, full of energy, etc.

And I'm worried that even at 32, I do all this and we are at the same state as before.

Yes, I've learned a lot about society. About how people who have been born with better cards tell people (especially men) who don't to "shut up and deal with it" etc. it sucks. Many good looking people act like they have put effort into their romantic success. And that sucks. I wish society changed and accepted the reality of things. Maybe then, men wouldn't be ostricized for being a virgin etc.

I hear the "you can play your cards well even if you have very few." The problem is that I have none and cannot even enter the casino.

Also, though, I met that guy on the internet circa 2000, and after months saw his picture and just thought "you're the most beautiful thing in the universe".

You could EASILY replicate that vibe with one of those Russian wife websites. Just saying.

Some Russian wife is going to love the s**t out of you.

[beyondconfusedtbh]

damn this thread really makes you feel like s**t 

[Perlkrys]

damn this thread really makes you feel like s**t 

LOL Oh, come on.

[Perlkrys]

All I'm saying is whatever bs Lookism is spoon feeding you is garbage.

[beyondconfusedtbh]

I can't stand that site, but the concept of lookism itself is not garbage lol. Neither are the 'objective' measurements of attractiveness. What's garbage is the idea that one has to be PERFECT in order to have any chance in life, this is obviously false.

[beyondconfusedtbh]

Ignoring reality is the WORST thing you can do when trying to console someone, it doesn't matter if this is online or not. If you paint a fairytale scene for someone just to temporarily cheer them up it sets them up perfectly to fall again & fall further the next time they face some hardship.
The only difference is every time someone does this, they grow more & more convinced that everyone else is a liar which can be really dangerous if they suffer from a MD of any kind.

Not bashing anyone, just observing.